The LYLAS Podcast
If you know what LYLAS stands for, then this podcast is for you! Two besties since middle school turned moms and psychologists dish on "the good, the fun, and the yucks" of life! We're tackling all things mental health, "mom balance" (whatever the hell that is), transitions in life (divorce, career, aging parents, parent loss, loss of friendships), self-care, travel, healthy habits, raising kids, and allllllll the things us midlife mamas are experiencing. We hope each week listeners feel like they just left a good ol' therapy session with their bestie! We'll dish on all the tips and tricks to keep your mental health in check and enjoy this thing called life! Meet your life's newest cheerleaders-- Sarah & Jen! LYLAS!
The LYLAS Podcast
"I Just Wish I Had a Bigger Kitchen!" Book Release with Kate Strickler from Naptime Kitchen!
"I Just Wish I Had a Bigger Kitchen" author, influencer (@Naptime Kitchen), and homemaker, Kate Strickler brings her refreshing honesty and practical wisdom to this week's conversation by sharing her reflective list of "other lies I think will make me happy" paired with creative approaches to pivoting our mindset.
What distinguishes Kate's approach is her exceptional self-awareness combined with a problem-solver's mindset. Rather than offering platitudes about accepting ourselves, she delivers tangible strategies for shifting both perspective and daily habits. The concept of creating "a life you love" through what Kate calls the "inner scorecard versus outer scorecard" approach. By focusing on what genuinely matters to you—not what society dictates—she argues we can find contentment amidst constant pressure to want more.
Kate's discussion of family rhythms provides a masterclass in balanced parenting—establishing consistent routines while allowing flexibility. From technology boundaries to managing evolving schedules as children grow, she demonstrates how thoughtful structure creates freedom rather than restriction. Her candid admission that she'll occasionally break her own rules when everyone needs it showcases her refreshingly realistic approach to family life.
Pre-order Kate's book, releasing August 26th to discover all ten "I wish" statements and their transformative solutions. You'll likely find yourself nodding in recognition that someone has finally articulated the thoughts you've been having all along—and better yet, provided a path forward.
Please be sure to checkout our website for previous episodes, our psych-approved resource page, and connect with us on social media! All this and more at www.thelylaspodcast.com
so, yeah, when I was kind of working up the nerve to ask uh, today's guest to come on the podcast, I thought for sure she was going to say something like well, jenny, I'd love to. But you know, I got mel robbins next week and then Oprah called and she wants to have me on and so, luckily for us, by the grace of God, she agreed to come on the little podcast that could, the Lylas podcast. So we're so excited to have a special guest today. Content creator. I call her an influencer because she influences me all the time, much to my husband's dismay, I'm sure. But a new author as well added to her resume. We have none other than Kate Strickler from Naptown Kitchen. Kate, welcome to the Live this Podcast.
Speaker 2:Thank you for having me To be clear, don't worry, Mel Robbins nor Oprah are knocking on my door, so, but you are kind.
Speaker 1:They just haven't read the book yet. Kate, as soon as they do. I have a feeling they will.
Speaker 1:I'm so excited to talk about the book and that we got a sneak peek. I already have my copy pre-ordered, but to have a sneak peek to it and to really have a chance to talk to you about it, I'm so excited because I know how hard you've worked on it just from following you. But also it's really, I think, something that a lot of women are going to relate to and go gosh, is she in my head? Did she steal my thoughts? How did she write the things that I'm thinking all the time?
Speaker 2:Well, thank you. I'm glad that we're at the launch part after the year of writing, so I'm excited.
Speaker 1:Well, for those of you, if you've never heard of Kate or Naptime Kitchen, you can find her on Instagram. She gives a lot of practical sort of mom hacks I know you probably hate that word by now, but just hacks on like how to make life a little easier. But give us an idea. I'm curious because I've never asked you this question before. What is your background? Like, what did you go to?
Speaker 2:college for. So I majored in exercise science and did personal training. After college. I taught classes until I was 38 weeks pregnant with John Robert, so with my first and, and then afterward like loosely did, but it didn't make sense really from a childcare perspective. So yeah, that was my background.
Speaker 1:Okay, and so then, how was Naptime Kitchen born after that?
Speaker 2:So he was born in June. So I finished working like late May. He was born in June of 2015. And really by January I just was pretty like bored at home. I mean, like he, you know, he had requirements of me, but he was napping twice a day and I just needed an outlet and I love to cook and so I was cooking pretty elaborately at the time and just decided to make an Instagram for, like photos of food.
Speaker 2:And this was like way back in the day, Instagram was like not fancy, it was just a square with a caption and I would just like share what I was cooking. And really it was like my family members were following me. It was super small. I did not think anything of it. It was just like a creative outlet to cook. And then Instagram stories came about when my after my second was born and that was like a really fun like oh, now there's like everyday kind of video, kind of content thrown in there, and and then, yeah, I just kind of never stopped posting, I guess, and it evolved. Yeah, it just evolved as we had more kids and moved and everything like that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's one thing that I really gathered from your Instagram and even from reading the book that without having them, there's really not a nap time kitchen. There's really not a greater wish that we kind of go through in our lives because our kids and our family influence so much of who we are, and you've been able to beautifully join all of the intricacies, the you know, the fun train wrecks that happen with it and have created this uniquely refreshing, real kind of vulnerable, open perspective as to what it's like to actually be doing all of this, with all of these responsibilities that are like tangible and outside of who we are. But then you also are willing to share like those inner vulnerabilities that we have, like those inner messages that are constantly playing while we have these little actors or family members or you know, whatever these things are in the universe around us, and so I think that's really cool that you have that joining spirit with it, and how has that kind of evolved for you over time?
Speaker 2:I think it just really has been like out of necessity and it just it has evolved as our life has changed. So again, like was cooking elaborate meals that took a lot of time, and then it was the early days of motherhood, and now my kids are becoming more and more school age. So I'm like I even I feel like another shift happening and like, for the first time ever, we have swim team and I'm like, oh my gosh, now we're like eating dinner at the pool. Like I just feel like it's just evolved, as I have evolved in terms of what our life is doing.
Speaker 1:It's so much more relatable and the fact that you are able to do that on such a far-reaching platform is admirable. I know, when we even started this podcast, you know it's hard in the beginning to put yourself out there and to tell some of like your darkest or deepest secrets. And the more you do it, the more like liberated you feel and all of a sudden it's it's not as hard, and I imagine it was probably the same way for you that first time you turned the camera on and talk to it. You know you're like Whoa, you know, um, but now it's probably just. I mean, I see you strolling through the neighborhood and you're not worried about who's watching, or you know, or maybe you are, I don't know, but it just seems like it probably gets easier.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it definitely does. And now too, I mean especially like if you see me in the neighborhood, half the time people are on their phones like FaceTiming. I'm like people don't know what I'm doing over here anyways, but I don't. Yeah, it almost just feels like I've been doing it so long. I don't even really think about it.
Speaker 1:It's almost like second nature at this point. Well, I definitely want to talk a little bit, or a lot of bit, about this book, because so many things resonated with me to the point I was like, are we the same person? Like there were so many things that were just spot on. Besides, you've got at least five inches on me, but beyond that, like you, you literally took thoughts out of my head and so many things from, like you know, when Sarah and I both walked away and I say walked away from our careers, but like the career path that we had chosen, that we had gone to school for and trained for and been in for almost two decades, we both you know, it's kind of where this podcast came from but we were both like well, who are we outside of being psychologists? Like what? You know that the first time you meet somebody, that's the first thing you tell them well, this is what I do for a living.
Speaker 1:And so I really struggled with it. In the beginning, I felt this need to like bring it up in conversation, like, oh, I used to do this, I used to be somebody. And then, over time, I was like, well, you know, that's, it's okay, but generally people just don't really care. I think or I I was giving it way more weight than other people were but this whole like idea of like we attach ourselves to our profession, you know, I think, is I didn't realize I wasn't that I was the only person that felt that way. And so reading that in your book, you know, even though you're relating it to somebody else or you know, to women as well, some friends, it just it was like oh okay, I'm not alone in how this feels.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and that everyone's feeling it for themselves. It's like I think we're. We so often think it's like people are so much more concerned with themselves than with us than we realize that everyone's kind of leaving being like what did I say, who was I there? When we're wondering what did they think of what I said? And it's like they're really thinking about what they said. You know, it's like we're all kind of in this identity, figuring out who we are and where we fit in in friendships and in motherhood and like all these things. Everyone's in that journey of figuring those things out.
Speaker 3:But I think what you do so nicely within the book, though, is that you are able to succinctly kind of identify with these. I wish statements, and I don't know that we really pay attention to that internal dialogue that we have, so how were you able to really zone in to yourself to come up with these? I mean spoiler alert, there's 10. I wish statements. That really kind of send us at times in a spiral, but where did your awareness of this kind of come from?
Speaker 2:Well, it took a year to write, so definitely took some time, but I think I just was able to well one from being online for so long. My friends would say I'm a very self-aware person, maybe to a fault. I'm very aware of how I'm doing, what I'm struggling with, what feels hard at any given time, or to be like this is bothering me. I'm not sure why. I need to figure out why this specific thing is bothering me or why did that comment hurt my feelings. I'm pretty in tune with what's going on with me and so I'm probably that over. Self-awareness was probably, in this instance, the negative of it can be. I can leave someplace and be like oh, what did I say? What you know? How did I feel? What do people think?
Speaker 2:The positive is that in this situation, it like was able to be channeled into these chapters that I've, like I've actually really have had the awareness to be like I know I have thought these things. And then also it's when I there's certain things that when I say them online, the like influx of response is really huge. For instance, I did a story where I was like starting Accutane and I was just saying, like for me skin has been really hard. For instance, I did a story where I was like starting Accutane and I was just saying like for me, skin has been really hard and so on other people. I notice it and like people have their own like proverbial thing.
Speaker 2:It's like whether it's somebody's hair or their body size, like there are all these different things, and it's like whatever you're personally struggling with is what you mirror in everyone you're looking at. And I got this like influx of comments of just like that, like, yes, I struggle with this, I struggle with this, I struggle with this. And so in like a book writing process, I think I had the confidence to know I know I'm not the only one struggling with this, to know I know I'm not the only one struggling with this. Like I'm writing about something that I have heard over and over and over again people say to back to me when I do like choose to be vulnerable and then hear back. So I think that it was like I had kind of a collective experience of a lot of people to help me in whatever the chapter was. So, yeah, that helped.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that just had to be so validating for you to, on a personal level though, to like again be vulnerable, but then to have other people be like girl me too.
Speaker 2:Yes, it is a pro of social media for sure is to get to feel it on a larger level.
Speaker 1:Where do you think that self-awareness comes from, or how do you think you developed it? Because I mean, you're young. You're at least five, six years younger than we are and I kept thinking like, wow, she is so ahead of her time. So where do you think that self-awareness comes from?
Speaker 2:I have no idea, jenny, I don't know, I really don't know. I mean know, I really don't know. I mean probably part of being the weird part of this job. I think I've been self-aware before this job. Like I've been like an introspective journaler, especially like in my prayer life with God. Like that is something that I am talking to God about, and so I think, partly when I go to like pray about something, it is causing me to bring it to the surface. And so in bringing it to the surface, I'm making myself aware of it. Like I'm not just like stuffing something down, I'm saying like I'm having a really hard time today with contentment in my home, like I'm a little bit pissed, I just I am feeling suffocated and when I say it then it like brings it to the table from an awareness standpoint, versus just being like it's fine, it's fine, everything's fine. I'm just going to like push this under the rug, and so, and then I think, being online, my self-awareness has probably skyrocketed because I am there's very few people like I don't have a boss evaluating me.
Speaker 2:The only boss is the Instagram algorithm, which, nate, is like the steady ship to my storm and he's not super active on social media, but very much understands social media, understands how it works. So I think that when I'm feeling like I'm trying to figure out where I fit into this like stormy ocean of social media, he's much more able to be like this is who you are, this is what matters, you know things like that. But I don't have a performance review Like. So I have to kind of be like how is my work level going? Am I overly stressed? Because if I'm overly stressed, I have the power to dial it back. I just have to make myself dial it back. So it probably comes a lot too from like a lot of self-evaluation of what's working, what's not. How am I feeling about what's working? Because I luckily it's like a great blessing, but I get to choose how I do this job.
Speaker 3:Well, and like you said too, it's not even like it's a job, because you're a reflection of your true life.
Speaker 3:You're a reflection of your true thoughts of what's happening there within your family as well, and I think one of the great things about the book is that each chapter you provide a beautiful foundation or story about what's kind of happening within your life that relates to that context, whether it's I wish I had a better kitchen, I wish what was it? I was a better mom, right, and the stories that go along with that just resonate so much like with what Jen says, what so many of us feel. But then what you're able to do is be self-aware and not self-critical. And so in the book you come up with these mindset shifts that are really grounding ways for us to kind of relate to. But then you came up with these practical tips to help us to get there. Where did those?
Speaker 2:come from. Yeah, the practicality piece. It felt like very necessary, because that is really such a huge part of like what Naptime Kitchen does to write a book. That was sort of philosophical but not practical. It would almost be like this is not the way Kate's brain works, and so I was thinking because you know, y'all had sent me some questions. One of them was like where do you think up this stuff? Like, where did the life hacks or you know hacks come from?
Speaker 2:Well, one, my parents are both like very practical people, like in the funniest of ways, like if my dad wants something in the garage, he's gonna like finagle how to put it up and like use a zip tie.
Speaker 2:I mean it's very handy, very, very handy, but just they're very practical in like solving problems and coming up with solutions, and so I think my brain works that way too, like if there's something that's bothering me in my house or what like I'm going to be like like what can I do, what can I buy, what can I make to make this easier? And so, with with these like bigger topics, I was like no really, though, how do I actually improve my marriage when I'm feeling like I wish I had a better husband? Or how do I actually like help myself out of a deep pit when I'm struggling with body image? Like don't just tell me like you're beautiful and uniquely made, but like no, what are some practical things that could actually help me? And that's. I think that's where a lot of books I would get frustrated of, like okay, that was like some really great mindset stuff, but like I need you to help me know what to do.
Speaker 2:So, you know that that's probably where the practical comes from is that's just like how I function, sometimes to a fault, from a practical standpoint.
Speaker 1:So You're a problem solver at heart. Yes, it's like bring me all your problems. I did wonder as I was reading the book, and it sounds like maybe you do this through prayer, but do you meditate? Do you have any kind of meditation practice?
Speaker 2:I don't. Oh, Jenny, I think I would die.
Speaker 1:Well, because you are kind of busy, like you said. You know self self-described as busy, you like to be moving. You remind me a lot of my mother-in-law, like she can't sit still, she's go, go, go, go. But I I do think sometimes that that's the type of person that benefits maybe the most from a meditation practice, and the reason I kept thinking that is just because and you sort of got you alluded to this when you were talking about, like through your prayer it really helps you to become self-aware. I would say that's the number one thing that it has helped me with, you know, in terms and specifically anxiety, because I too have struggled with anxiety my entire life, as long as I can remember. But it is something that has helped me realize what I can control, what's out of my control, and then really like, make a plan for okay, like how am I going to move through this? And so I just I kept coming back to I wonder if she's ever explored just like two minutes a day, like guided meditation.
Speaker 2:No, I bet that is similar like guided meditation. No, I, I bet that is similar. Like I, when I'm done exercising and before I go out, like I sit at my desk I have my bible and I have my journal and that's kind of my like. So it may be a similar and a grounding sense of like. That's like my five to ten minutes of just kind of like what does the day hold, how am I feeling, what do I need help with? Kind of like, what does the day hold, how am I feeling, what do I need help with? Kind of thought process. But I try, not perfectly, but to do that in the mornings before I go out to the kitchen.
Speaker 1:So I'm a big believer in a gratitude journal. I I also. I just write down five things, everything every day that I'm grateful for, most days, I should say, and then five wishes, and then I close my journal and I send them out into the universe and I say, or something better right, because we don't know what's headed our way like a year, and read some of those things and see what's come to fruition and realize that you know, sometimes just putting it out there is enough, you don't, you know that's all you have to do. And for me, I think that that's just something that has helped to reaffirm that, like, there are things we have control over and some things we don't. And if you're somebody that lives with anxiety, you know how difficult that is to not be able to control things, particularly when it comes to, like, your kids or safety. You know those types of things, yeah, but big believer in a gratitude journal.
Speaker 3:Well, I think, to kind of join what you both were saying, that's kind of what you hit on the last chapter of the book. Whenever you're talking about a life that you love Right chapter of the book, whenever you're talking about a life that you love right, it's almost like a form of like radical acceptance, where you have to accept that some of these things are just what they are. And now here we are, kind of a thing. Is that something that you find yourself like coming to throughout each day, especially whenever you're, you know, living a life with four kids running around and now swim, practice, managing your career, their school life, like all of that stuff? Where do you go to in those moments, like, what are your most practical practices that you put in place then?
Speaker 2:Well, we definitely have like really solid time rhythms in our house and so, like I wake up in the morning and exercise from six to seven, and that like is just the beginning of my day. And then I get to go into the kitchen and like do breakfast with the kids, make lunches, like we have very strong weekly rhythms and then the kids get home at 3.30 and I'm usually done for the day by 3.30. So I'm like thinking about them. What do we need to do? You know, do we have soccer, like just kind of headed into that part of the day, and then like the bedtime routine. So I feel like our rhythm is really strong and it's interesting because, like, come the end of May, like Nate will want to sit down and talk with me about the summer rhythm, because it is. It just feels like our kids will need it too. Like they, I don't think they realize how much the rhythm helps them. And then, when it's gone, it's like, ah, like when can we watch TV? When can we eat a snack? What are we doing today? And I'm like, oh, they're like thrown off, like they don't want to be in school. But we do need some, like they need some expectations, and so maybe that's the other word it's like expectations of what's like what's coming in the day, so I mean those and then, like on a spiritual level, like prayer is very grounding to me, like just kind of some communication with God throughout the day.
Speaker 2:I mean, like yesterday I was in the car and we were leaving swim and I was just in the worst mood and I was like moody towards Johnny and I did not. I just kind of like at the stoplight, was like God, I am just pissed and I'm not sure why, but I just need like I just need some help. And then I like turned to Johnny and I was like hey, I'm just I'm sorry, I'm just kind of in a bad mood. And I, it's not a big deal that you took two pieces of gum, like cause. I was like why did you like we only take one piece of gum? And he took two and he's like trying to spit one out. I was like just take them, just take the two pieces. Do you think that gum just grows on trees? We need to be sparing with the gum. They eat so much gum. We go through a lot of gum. But it's just like hey, man, I'm like I'm sorry, the gum thing was not that big of a deal.
Speaker 2:I was just kind of in a bad mood, so quickly apologizing to John Robert and quickly just being like I don't know I'm taking something out on my son that he didn't even really do wrong. I don't know why I'm in a bad mood. So to me those kind of come out as prayers of like, just can you help me, god? I don't know what's, I don't know why I'm feeling this way right now, but I am. So I'm not sure if I fully answered the question, but no-transcript something we don't do.
Speaker 2:But like last night they were like can we watch Planet Earth? And it does feel like come May we are like starting to get more lax, like it's just light out, everyone's ready for summer, like a lot of, and again we're doing swim teams. So that's like throwing off our evenings anyway. And I was like, yes, like let's watch an episode of Planet Earth. So it was kind of fun because it was like we ended the night with just like watching like whales and you know, flamingos and all this stuff, and I was like, oh, what a great end to the day, like it was. It was almost like I broke my own rule that we have and it was just. It was like we all just needed it on a Monday night in these like final weeks of school, just to listen to what's his name David Attenborough.
Speaker 1:The planet earth guy's voice that's so calming and um, so the day ended okay, all that to say, but curious how you handle that, because we have taken a page out of your book and and done away with technology during the week.
Speaker 1:Um, they can watch a show, but like that no more ipads, no more games, you know that kind of stuff, just to to like let's play outside more, and for all of us like let's put our phones down, my husband and I, all the things. But then the weekend comes and it's almost like and maybe it's because we've only been doing this a month, but it's like. They're like I finally get my gadget or I can finally play my, whatever it is, and it's like they all you know, to the point where they want to sit on it for like hours. And we're like, no, no, no, that's not what you're trying to do. Um, so have you experienced that as well? Or is it? You know, since it was never a thing like it, you know, maybe they're not as no, they like have a binge fest Saturday morning is like hours.
Speaker 2:They wake up, they're allowed to start watching at seven. They don't need to ask after seven they can start watching. And so Nate and I can sleep in because they just like wake up and start watching. And it's like sometimes at like nine, 30, we're like maybe we should make them turn it off soon. It's been two and a half hours, but I'm like I I remember doing that as a kid. I remember just being like I am just going to completely veg out and watch cartoons on Saturday morning. And so to me I'm just maybe, because I did it, I'm like man, you just binge Dude, perfect for a couple of hours and just, and then, you know, usually around like 9.30 or 10, we're like, all right, guys, let's turn it off, and we kind of go throughout the day and then at night they can usually watch again. Um, like we'll watch a movie, or um, it's getting harder with the age gap of like what movie to watch um but and our ipad broke, which actually was great.
Speaker 2:It like broke, one of the kids dropped in and smashed and I was like you know what, like, let's not replace it. So they don't have. They only have the TVs which I mean they can watch. They can get to YouTube, which we used to not allow YouTube because it was so bothering to me of the crap but all they want to watch is Dude Perfect right now, which I'm a huge Dude Perfect fan, so I'm like you can watch that to your heart's content. I'm a huge Dude Perfect fan, so I'm like you can watch that to your heart's content. But kind of on the weekends we just like we let them have a little bit more freedom to just go ham.
Speaker 3:Again a very practical solution right there.
Speaker 1:Exactly that's what I mean when I say like wise beyond your years. I'm like, you're younger than me, but you have all the answers, Kate?
Speaker 1:Like I do not, but you at least have an idea and I'm a little bit more of like I'm not really sure what to do or what. You know, I go extremely restrictive and that doesn't tend to work out well for anybody. But another thing, kind of getting back to what you talked about, sort of at the end of the book because I think I told you this yesterday Like I laughed, I cried, that last chapter really got me on many different levels. But one thing is really just it sparked this idea, you know, kind of creating this life that you love. And when I took a year off of work, about halfway through Jeff lost his job and so we found ourselves both at home, not working for maybe like six weeks, and so we got into this show called A Rich Life. Have you ever heard of this? I think it was on.
Speaker 1:Netflix that we watched Um and I'm not even going to try to say the man's name, I'm sure I'll butcher it, but it's basically this idea where he, he has you really think about. You know, what does your rich life look like? Not what society tells you a rich life is, but like what's important to you. So like we, we sort of made a list. Like it's things like picking our kids up from school, you know, having the ability to bike to school and go on, like several mini vacations throughout the year, not not necessarily like big grand vacations where we're taking them overseas, but like maybe we vacations throughout the year, not necessarily like big grand vacations where we're taking them overseas, but like maybe we pop somewhere for the weekend or go visit friends. We haven't seen in years those types of things.
Speaker 1:But so we really just took time to like list out what does our rich life look like. And that was so helpful, not just for me, the spender in the family, because my husband is the save every penny, I'm the spend every penny. Like you're dying tomorrow, hence why I'm an influencer stream, by the way, but he, you know, it helped me to really look at okay, like if I want these things like one of our goals is to retire in our 50s and so like, if I really want this, then I have to think about do I need a new outfit every week or do I need to buy, you know, all the latest and greatest? And so it just I was curious. You know, reading it I was like I wonder if they've ever watched that show, because I, you know it was very. There were some similarities there and that, like you're really creating the life that that is important to you, that is rich to you not necessarily society's measure.
Speaker 1:And I forget what you call it in the book. You call it like your internal measuring stick or something.
Speaker 2:The inner and outer scorecard.
Speaker 1:That's what it's a scorecard.
Speaker 2:Yes, which we totally ripped off from Warren Buffett, who maybe he ripped it off from someone else Nate would know, but Nate is a huge Warren Buffett fan.
Speaker 2:But Nate is better at the inner versus outer scorecard than I am. I think it is harder when you're on social media but, yes, just the like what is actually important to me, and like you were saying, like picking up your kids from school, that's like I had never thought of that and I was like it's so true you get to pick your kids up from school. That's like I had never thought of that and I was like it's so true, like you get to pick your kids up from school and so it might mean that you lose some. You know you lose out on some things, but if they're not on your scorecard, why do you even care? But the things that are on your scorecard that you're like getting an A in that matter to you, then it like gives you a rich life. But you've got I think I say this in the book it's like you've got to keep your eyes on your scorecard because you can't get an A on your scorecard and someone else's scorecard and this scorecard.
Speaker 2:It's just not possible, right, which is hard for me.
Speaker 1:I'd like to get all A's in all, in all areas, In all the things, In all the things. Yeah, speeding off to get to work by 6.50 and then you pick them up at you know four o'clock and then you rush at home to make dinner and, like I didn't even realize, I think back then that that might be something important to me, like biking to school and having that like 10 minutes of like conversation about what your day was like. Because I was so frazzled, such a like shell of myself by the time I decided to walk away from that. And what I think was what made me emotional about the last chapter of that book was I had a lot of compassion for that woman that was doing what she thought she was supposed to be doing. Right, I had the career I was contributing financially to my family. I had two kids that were well cared for and I knew where they were at during the day and they were learning and all the things that we think they're supposed to be doing.
Speaker 1:But at the end of the day, it really wasn't what was most important to me, which is just time with them.
Speaker 1:Like it became so apparent to me that they're going to grow up in the blink of an eye and I don't want to miss those little like 10 minutes a day where I can have a conversation with them and not feel like annoyed that I'm not doing something else to be productive. I don't know if that makes sense, but, like you know, like I could fully be present and have conversations and want to be with them and and not just like, oh, I got to get through this because I got to do this next and this, and then tomorrow starts all over. You know, there's a real freedom that comes in deciding like, OK, that's actually really important to me and I'm going to have to make some adjustments to my life in order to have those needs met. So, yeah, I, that was, that was a big one for me. Just that, you know, validation or that like compassion of like she was doing the best she could but she didn't realize she didn't have to do all that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think too. I talk about this in the intro, but something that I think about often, as I like play the lottery in my head of like if I'm struggling with something, I'll be like what if you threw your name in the hat and you could trade with, just at random somebody else whose name is in the hat? And the answer is, like always, no, like always, whether it's like all right, throw your name in the hat and you could trade with anybody in the world's home. It's like the chances of getting a nicer house, better health, a better family, like I'm like I would never trade any of it.
Speaker 2:So that kind of similarly, it's like that is my kind of thing I do in my head and it just immediately like brings me back to like you are so, so lucky, kate, like just and you know somebody hearing this might feel like no, I don't feel that way, I would put my name in the ring. But it just like it's like really makes me feel like the chances of pulling something better than what I have are so low. And then, even if it was better, like it's not mine and I want what like. It's like like you know what if I had a different life without my family, without my kids, like I don't know, that's just. It brings me back to like just how specific and special what I have is, and I like really don't want to trade that, even though I can quickly be like, oh, I want that or that or that. It's like you really you really don't. You got a pretty good here, kate.
Speaker 1:So, and even if you get all those things, there's no guarantee that it's going to make you happy.
Speaker 1:I say you know my kids have this like. They constantly ask about, like wonder what it's like to be famous. I mean, my daughter wants to be a YouTube sensation and you know great, and maybe she will be someday. But you know, I tell them all the time I dated this guy for a long time before I met my husband and you know we lived with his parents for about six months and in this huge, beautiful home it had a movie theater in it, I mean everything you could ever want in a house. And they were some of the most unhappy people I've ever met in my entire life and I think it just, you know, I remind them of that all the time.
Speaker 1:I'm like money won't solve your problems, it won't make you. You know, sure, it's great and it's a necessity, right, we all need money to survive and to have some of our basic needs met, but ultimately you can have it all and be miserable. And so that, just remembering to like practice what you preach in those instances, because it is so easy to look at other people's lives and be like, wow, I wish I just had that, I wish I could go there, I wish I could, you know, take my kids overseas every year or every couple of months, but that's just not practical for all of us. And that's okay too, because you know we played four square out front last night and had a great time until the very end when the bugs came out you know like who else did that last night?
Speaker 1:Yeah, um, so yeah, I think, just that constant reminder of of what you have and just to be grateful for that, yeah, Okay, well, I have some rapid fire questions from the book.
Speaker 2:Can you can.
Speaker 3:I ask them Are you ready? Yeah, I'm ready. Okay, like I said, there are the 10 wishes that you have within there. Which one was the hardest for you personally to write? Experience, and then, I guess, the third part reflect upon after you put it outside of you.
Speaker 2:Time was big because it feels very valuable to me and I am very much as a self-aware person, constantly evaluating how am I using my time. I think money was hard just because it's super broad and I'm writing from like a very specific standpoint and so just really wanting to like try and make it broad but also be like listen, I can't. I have never lived in a paycheck to paycheck. We don't know how we're going to make it situation and I would never want to assume that I knew what that was like. So there was, there were certain chapters that you know and again, it's not a, it's not a book that's going to cater to someone facing tragedy in any of these categories, which I, you know I say that in the introduction but just really like wanting to try and broaden my experience to still be helpful to people that haven't had the same experience. Some chapters that was like that was probably the hardest part of like how do I take my experience? But like expand it into something larger that more people can like see themselves in or understand.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, yeah, just to have that relatability factor, you know is really, really important. With all of this, what is something that if you could control, or your wish for your readers? What would you want them to take away from the book?
Speaker 2:I think, really the thing I said at the beginning that, like I have gotten the privilege to know that like, wow, a lot of other people feel this, and so I think that if, like kind of what you were saying, jenny of, like oh Kate struggles with this too, like I think my hope would be that what you were saying, jenny of like oh Kate struggles with this too, like I think my hope would be that they see Naptime Kitchen and they think like her life is just so put together and so perfect and she's so happy and I just wish my life looked more like that. That they would feel like seen, that they would feel like you know, other people are struggling with this too. Or she put words to something that I'm feeling too and I feel less alone because she's felt that way too.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's great. So really, it's just creating a greater network of connectivity, of just the human shared experience. Right yeah, we're all going through this crap.
Speaker 1:The female shared experience, because so many of those things are, you know, things you share. And you even say, I think of one part in talking about your body image, like you have you know, great, you've always been thin and like it doesn't absolve you from having sort of any kind of body image issues. And, to the same point, like I would have you know, I would make a comment at work about you know, oh, I'm doing this bad diet because I try everything and people, why do you need to do that? You're already thin and that doesn't mean that there aren't still things about my body that I don't like or that I'm still working on to accept. You know and I think that is such an important point to make that it's not necessarily what other people perceive of you. It's how we're perceiving ourselves and that that internal dialogue is happening for so many of us.
Speaker 3:Okay, this is a silly question and this one I'm actually stealing from my husband, who does tons of interviews for his job, and he actually got this off of a coworker who was a huge Jaeger scholar, which is a big deal back here in our small little state. But your Instagram is nap time kitchen. I swear he asked this of everybody. If you could be a kitchen appliance, what would it be and why?
Speaker 2:Great question Can it be a big one? I'd be. If can it be a big one, I'd be a refrigerator, whatever you want. Okay, tell me why. Well, yeah, because it's the, it's the, it's the boss of the kitchen, it's like it's the best, it's where everything gets stored. I mean like there's nothing you use more than the fridge. So I feel like it feels like you got your fruits and your vegetables and your dairy and your meats and I definitely and I like the fridge it's a part of the Naptime Kitchen brand, I think is that I love refrigerators. My fridge is like always pretty clean and it's just a. It's just a spot for me that I like keep pretty organized. And it is not my friends will tell you I am. I will go to their house and be like do you want me to just kind of tidy this up for you while we're here? And they're like, yes, and I'm like do you have some vinegar.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like maybe this, um, this cheese that expired in 2020, you think I could maybe toss it. You know, I will go through somebody's fridge with delight and clean it out.
Speaker 1:I need to send you to my mom's refrigerator. It's what we find in there. Well, I think that it's like a stressful.
Speaker 2:It's like people open it a million times a day but they don't like a lot. This isn't out of judgment. This is more like the practicality piece coming out of like you open it so much and you have to get stuff out of it so much. To me it just makes sense that it would be kept cleaner than so many other areas because it's the utility is so high and so like I can't have like gross butter. It's clogging up my butter thing because I gotta have butter up there constantly. So I just need it to function like very smoothly, which is a whole nother topic.
Speaker 1:I'm guessing the home reset starts with the. At least I started. I can't remember if I did it in order, but I definitely started with my refrigerator and freezer. Yeah, it starts with the fridge because of its high utility, and I will say I do keep a tidy fridge now and I will always, forever, clean with vinegar and water because of that. I was amazed at how well that worked. Yes, no more Clorox wipes for me.
Speaker 3:Well, gosh, I'm just, I'm really honored that you were able to come on here and to share this stuff and for me, as a psychologist, taking off a mom hat and reading your book, I really appreciated the honesty, vulnerability, but then a very specific mindset shift, I think is what people can hold on to. And then your unique ability to go through and lay out practical things, like you said, in a broad manner that can apply to anybody that picks it up and reads it makes it a very unique and special book that anybody can just kind of sit down and have a range of emotional experiences with connections, thought provoking moments, and it's really, I think, a gift and a very sweet act that you chose to share this with everybody. Thank you, really, I think a gift and a very sweet act that you chose to share this with everybody. Thank you, Sarah. I appreciate it.
Speaker 1:When does the book come out, Kate? Do you have a release date?
Speaker 2:Yes, it comes out August 26th, 26th, Okay, that is the official release date. So I mean it's like on the internet. Now you can buy it anywhere.
Speaker 1:But it will come out.
Speaker 2:Yes, you can pre-order it anywhere, but it will come out on August 26th.
Speaker 1:So we will have a link on our website where you can pre -order the book on Amazon. I already have my copy reserved and plans to get several for my girlfriends, because I thought of several friends as I was reading it. Oh, they're going to love this book, so a great gift for a girlfriend if you have somebody in mind as well. Before we sign off, I want to leave you with a little quote, because in my gratitude practice in the morning, I journal and I have these little random cards that I pull. I don't know if you can see this, but they come with a little quote. That sort of like sets the tone for the day and I thought this of course, this is the card that I pulled today. It this of course, this is the card that I pulled today.
Speaker 1:It's by Albert Schweitzer Schweitzer, I hope I say that correctly. It says at times, our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has a cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us and I thought Kate, you are a spark and thank you. We are so grateful that you came on our little podcast and shared your book with us. We really appreciate it thanks, guys.
Speaker 2:Thank you for having me yeah, thanks, it's been fun.
Speaker 3:I hope you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I hope you enjoyed it all right, all right, so check us out. You can catch us on lilaspodcastcom where you can find resources uh, links to all the episodes, and you can find resources links to all the episodes. And you can find Kate at Naptime Kitchen on Instagram. Also, follow us on Instagram at the Lylas Podcast Until next week. Y'all, lylas, we're out, thank you.
