The LYLAS Podcast
If you know what LYLAS stands for, then this podcast is for you! Two besties since middle school turned moms and psychologists dish on "the good, the fun, and the yucks" of life! We're tackling all things mental health, "mom balance" (whatever the hell that is), transitions in life (divorce, career, aging parents, parent loss, loss of friendships), self-care, travel, healthy habits, raising kids, and allllllll the things us midlife mamas are experiencing. We hope each week listeners feel like they just left a good ol' therapy session with their bestie! We'll dish on all the tips and tricks to keep your mental health in check and enjoy this thing called life! Meet your life's newest cheerleaders-- Sarah & Jen! LYLAS!
The LYLAS Podcast
The LYLAS Podcast, Season 4, Episode 76, Doc Talk
Navigating the often daunting world of medical appointments, especially as we hit our 40s, can feel like a nostalgic journey with modern challenges. Remember the days when seeing a doctor didn't come with a side of anxiety? We chat about how those long-standing relationships with trusted doctors provide comfort and how self-advocacy in healthcare is more important than ever. With over 6,000 downloads, we're grateful for our community and eager to hear your thoughts as we wrap up season four. Join us as we candidly explore the tightrope walk of having enough information to make informed decisions without falling into the trap of misinformation, particularly when it comes to complex topics like perimenopause.
Please be sure to checkout our website for previous episodes, our psych-approved resource page, and connect with us on social media! All this and more at www.thelylaspodcast.com
Welcome to LILAS. If you grew up in the 80s and 90s, you probably know what LILAS stands for, and this podcast is for you.
Speaker 2:Ladies, you probably know what Lila stands for, and this podcast is for you, ladies. Hey, right, right. So we're an all inclusive group here, reaching out to all of our audience, and thank you all so much. We are well over 6,000 downloads, by the way, so thank you everybody who tunes in every single week. Remember, we want suggestions. We're getting ready to close out season four, so I'm going to go ahead and plant that seed. Now give us some ideas, some things you want us to kind of talk about. We feel like we're kind of on par with what we're listening to, um, from other podcasts and media outlets, but we also want to make sure that we're staying in touch.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we also want to make sure we're staying in touch with you guys, so remember you can text the show at any time and we'll text back and we'll give you some swag yeah, like oprah has a podcast and she just did an episode on the.
Speaker 1:What is it? Like glp1, I was like, oh, we did an episode on that season four. But I think you're right, like we're right on par. You know, the stuff we're dealing with is what a lot of people are dealing with and talking about, and so we just get on here and kind of rift and today will be no different Because we didn't really have a topic in mind when we got on here to record and then, just as we do a lot of times, we start talking about what's going on in our lives.
Speaker 1:Sarah and I are pretty in sync with our well, with lots of things, but with all of our medical appointments, somehow they all line up. We're like, oh, I'm, I mean, we literally go for, like our mammogram on the same day. Like, totally, you're in West Virginia, I'm in South Carolina, and it just sort of works out, um, that we have back-to-back OB appointments this week or gynecologists don't actually our yearly check your lady parts appointments. And so we started talking about just what that's like and with providers and how it's changed as we've gotten older and like I'm going in tomorrow and I was listening to some things Sarah's going to share today and like, oh, that's a good idea, I'm going to ask her. You know what her background is in this and so, yeah, we just kind of want to talk about. I have lots of feelings and thoughts about doctors, I think, because you seem the same way, sarah.
Speaker 1:Like a lot of my appointments. My yearly appointments are between December, january and February, usually like eye doctor, all the teeth you know my teeth your dental appointments, your OB, your mammogram. You could go to your endocrinologist. I see my primary care physician four times a year. You know, one of those is usually sprinkled in, so it's just a lot. And then yearly blood work, all that kind of stuff, kind of all lumps around this time of year for both of us and for me I don't know about for you you're so used to doctors and hospitals and all the things, but that for me brings like a little bit of its own anxiety in itself. Right, because you're getting like that one yearly screening and, like you know, we always hope that they say you're good and see you next year. But like what if they don't? I think that goes through everybody's mind at some point when you're in your 40s and you're going for these yearly kind of visits.
Speaker 1:Does that happen to you?
Speaker 2:Do you have those same sort of Well, I think what you said is fair. I mean, my entire training and career was in medicine. It just happened to be behavioral medicine, but I was always working around medical doctors and providers and so, whether that be in a hospital or in a primary care center, in a specialty clinic, I think that, and my training, my training, was with medical residents. So it was. It was not. There was not a big difference between the two, except what it came down to, what we were doing inside the actual room. So I think that my comfort level is a little bit different with it. But I also know that I mean, we know, white cuff syndrome is actually something that happens.
Speaker 2:People's blood pressure tends to, you know, increase before they go into even just a regular physician. That they've known for years. That people tend to have a rough time sleeping before they go into different appointments. The thought of having something wrong and then learning about it None of this stuff is very comforting.
Speaker 2:And then, what about missing something? That was always a concern that sometimes I would hear from some patients, especially if they felt rushed with their annual appointment, whether that be their annual check-in with their primary care provider, obgyn, or whatever it was like. Well, I've got, you know, a 10 to 15 minute slot that's really eight minutes, and I don't. What are we missing? That could be going on within ourselves, and I think that whenever that happens, we tend to look towards outside sources for information or what can sometimes turn into misinformation. And so, yeah, I think that it's 100% common, but I think that's where we have to kind of pivot ourselves, as being the patient, to taking a very proactive stance in the relationships that we form with our providers and in building our own knowledge base about what's going on with ourselves, but also what, what, what should be happening, you know.
Speaker 1:I think it's so interesting because I loved my OB the one that you know, both my pregnancies that I went to, loved her and I think you kind of get attached or at least I do, I get attached, I'm a creature of habit and uh, you know it's super convenient and I just I loved her. But then when I went in it was like 38 or 39 and I was having panic attacks and you know I have a background in mental health, I understand I knew what it was and so when I explained it to her, you know her suggestions were for me to change my medications or go off of them altogether or to hire a nanny, because it sounded like I could use some assistance working full time with two small children. And you know, and now looking back, I'm like never once was it. Oh hey, you're 38, 39. Like this is actually pretty normal, like symptom of perimenopause. And let me tell you about some of the other symptoms you might experience and let's figure out. You know, maybe we need to do some testing. Like that was never a conversation and I adore her and I think she's a great OB, but it's got me thinking. After you were telling me about your experience and your doctor. I'm like I need to find a doctor that really specializes in perimenopause, like that's where my body is at this point and I need somebody that really understands what's going on and can help guide me through this time in life, because it's going to be a little tricky, I think, just from the symptoms that I've already experienced, and so it's totally changed my, you know, I think about.
Speaker 1:You know, I've been going to the doctor for a long time, I've been on controlled substance for a very long time and you have to go every four months or every three months, four times a year. And you know, I had a really attractive young doctor for many years and I loved going to the doctor, right, you know it was like we'd catch up talk some sports, your pulse is racing when it comes over to take your, you know, listen to your heart rate and all that stuff. I mean it was just such a different experience. You know it used to be like bloop, I'm in out, like just here because I have to, but now you're going in and you're like, OK, here's what I'm experiencing. It's just different, like you know. I feel like you know it's just it's a different vibe altogether, yeah, and it's more serious and it's got a more serious tone to it and I think really finding people that specialize in a woman's body, because so much research wasn't done with women included and I think that's part of the problem, and everybody specializes in different things.
Speaker 1:I don't mean to like sound negative about my previous doctor, that just clearly she didn't specialize in perimenopause, you know, and she was young too and so she probably maybe hadn't experienced those symptoms. I don't know, but it's just totally changed in my head. Like I go in now almost with an agenda of some sort of like okay, here's some things that I experience. I don't know if these are normal. I need you to tell me that. And you know my husband recently had some melanoma removed off of his back and you know it's just things like that, like going to you know he's got this gnarly scar like down his back. Now like it's kind of not a big deal because it was like in and out and margins are all clear and everything's you know best you could hope for, but I mean like he got a chunk cut out of his back, shoulder and um, I don't know.
Speaker 1:It's just so many doctors and I think I always struggle with, like, what symptoms do I even tell them about?
Speaker 1:Because I don't have symptoms every day, um, but but you know it's same thing, like when your kids get sick, you're always like, are they sick enough to take them to the doctor?
Speaker 1:Like, for me, if they don't have a fever over like 102, I'm probably not going to take them to the doctor unless they're like not eating, not drinking, um, but other like my kids both, I'm 99% sure, just had the flu in the last couple of weeks and you know I don't take either one of them to the doctor because I'm like it's the flu, like I know what this looks like, right, but I think we sometimes struggle with the same thing now as adults being like, what's worth noting to the doctor Is it that I have like some weird stomach pain once a month that's unrelated to my cycle, I think I don't know. I think I don't know, you know. So that's sort of one of the things that I've been thinking a lot about, like cause you do only get that window of time and you've got to, like you got to ask all your questions, especially if it's those yearly appointments, you know Well yeah, and I would also say that we do know that.
Speaker 2:you know, every time that you have with any type of provider is it is a time based, whatever session, so to speak, or appointment. I would also say, though, that if you feel like you were being rushed, you're not with the right provider.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And if you feel like that you've requested labs or that you've wanted referrals for other services and there's been a ball drop that's happened within that, you're also not with the right provider. And I know that that can be tough, especially if you live in, you know different, you know areas or different types of insurance or whatever. But it really does take you being a good advocate for yourself and finding what works. And so for me, the way that I've kind of navigated through some of this is that my primary care doctor has a very unique and unusual type of practice and I love it because I would always feel when I would go into and I worked in primary care clinics, so no shame. And I love it because I would always feel when I would go into and I worked in primary care clinics so no shame. And I think everybody needs a primary care doctor.
Speaker 2:But I always felt like it was kind of a rushed appointment and I didn't feel I know the checklist is supposed to be happening because I had to write the manuals that did it. So that way people come from a behavioral standpoint that promoted compliance. So from a medical standpoint, I had to write the manuals that did it. So that way. People come from a behavioral standpoint that promoted compliance. So from a medical standpoint I had to understand it. But I had to know how to make people do stuff, and so that's where it all kind of came together.
Speaker 2:But his practice is one that you pay for monthly. So every month I get $80 taken out of my checking account so it's not being billed to any insurance or anything else like that but I have access to him anytime I want. I can go to an appointment. If I have something that pops up anytime, then I can go straight in with him, and then he'll give me a slip to go get labs ran. And now it's in a different place, which is a little bit inconvenient, but I'm still. I'm paying for the fact I can see him that day and I'm seeing my doctor instead of like a stand in.
Speaker 1:Right or go into like an urgent care or something like that, right.
Speaker 2:Right, yeah, and so I have that.
Speaker 2:I can communicate with him through an app.
Speaker 2:If anything kind of comes up, if I end up sick or something else, I can always drop off my labs and then I see him once a year, usually for a full-on, like let's go through the checklist, and that's important because I know that if I'm missing a dot or a check, then he's going to make sure that it gets met with an appropriate referral or he'll even sit there and coach me on. Well, these are some things you might want to talk to with this provider. This is my reach in terms of my scope of practice, but I think that this person would be able to help to fill in the gaps more and I'm going to help to kind of coordinate that care with you and make sure that there's good communication between the two. Yeah, he's really really really, really great and very accessible and I really like that type of care. But the relationships that I have like with my OBGYN that we kind of mentioned today- she was a good friend of mine that I worked with in a primary care clinic Love.
Speaker 2:So we were friends first and so that just kind of made it natural, also somewhat awkward because we're two providers who you know what I mean it's. It's hard in some ways, but I love her. And you know we've been talking about perimenopause and one of her colleagues just got certified in it and I mentioned that to her and I was like that's really cool. And she was like, well, I'm going through the certification process too, uh yeah, and I was like, oh my God, girl, let's talk. And so she was like definitely, let's go through. And, um, tell me what you're experiencing right now. And in doing so you have to know that we're just now, we're behind the eight ball.
Speaker 2:She kind of just said it right out, like we didn't talk about perimenopause and that was our fault and that was because we're an evidence-based practice as a profession and we didn't have a lot of really good information or research on perimenopause, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:And so she was like so, from that kind of professional context, you know we have to practice within our bounds and the research hadn't come up, hadn't met with what we were seeing in ourselves or within our patients, but now it has, and so she was like that's where we're now trying to shift. She said, because I have so many people who come in, you know, rightly or wrongly, everybody's searching for information. If they go into their OBGYN, like you did, and they're just kind of dismissive, then you're going to listen to what somebody says on Instagram or you're going to listen to you know, a podcast that's talking about like us, like what happened to us in our you know appointments. Again, all fair, but that's probably not the best place for even here, this may not be the best place for information. It needs to come from your provider.
Speaker 1:Well, we're also not given like specifics. We're not like here's your symptoms. We're just talking about like finding a provider that listens to you and is knowledgeable really about the subject. I think that's what it boils down to. Is it's no more about? Does this match my insurance? And, yes, all of these things are important because being able to pay for health care is important, but if you are true, if you're somebody who has the means and is seeking out some support for these types of symptoms, you know, I think it's a really. I think it's important that we're finding people knowledgeable about women's bodies in their 30s, late 30s and 40s.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Because there's just doesn't appear to be a ton of people and again, I'm not like I've done, I haven't done a ton of research or anything like I I'm going to start with my current provider and see what her kind of knowledge is on the subject before I go shopping around, because she, you know, like you said, like she may be uncertified too, and I think there's some real you know, validity in that they wanted to wait until there was some research before they start putting out these suggestions.
Speaker 1:I had not thought of that, and so I think that's a really valid point and that they probably didn't know the research and and you know you're not going to go spouting something you don't have some evidence on, Right. But now I feel like at some point somebody did some research in the last 10 years, because now I feel like there is an overload and it's pretty consistent, I don't. I mean, there might be some change, but like the, the, I see the same symptoms and some of them come from pretty reputable sources. Mm-hmm, you know, enough to me and I'm experiencing these symptoms and I am this enough for me to think there's something to this. Oh yeah, definitely.
Speaker 2:And and that's what she says too. And so what we basically did was we talked through, like, um, different things that I was kind of like noticing in terms of like change with irregularities, or you know, maybe this is TMI, but like it seems like I'm like urinary tract infections are like, oh, how. Or maybe this is TMI, but it seems like urinary tract infections are like why is this happening all the time? Now it may not be as severe as what it used to be, but then for me that can go into a bladder infection, into a kidney infection. Next thing, you know, I'm in the hospital getting two IVs of fluid, dr Amy Moore, right, dr Tina Jones, but whatever.
Speaker 2:So, talking about those different types of things, energy levels, she went through the normal labs that I get and so as part of this, they would check all of your hormones, which include thyroid and stuff like that.
Speaker 2:My endo takes care of that, so she's going to stay in her lane. So what she focused on was really looking at estrogen, progesterone, testosterone Nope, progesterone, just progesterone, okay, progesterone. And then she was doing another one, that's LH, and then a FSH, and so we're going to just do a baseline of those types of labs and see how things are going. Because she also said that even though your labs may be normal, that doesn't mean that you may not be having, you know, experiences because right, or symptoms, and that's because, just like with any hormone, it's going to fluctuate based upon time of the month or whatever else. And so she wanted to really focus on. What we want to kind of do is get a baseline of data, and that also includes, like how you feel, things that are within you that you notice like levels of change with, and then we can kind of take it from a symptom management or, you know, if it turns out that we have some you know abnormalities or whatever, then we can talk about specific hormone replacements or options that we can use.
Speaker 1:And you know, I was like, well, this is fantastic, you know, felt like a lot of options, right, and it felt like somebody really was trying to understand you specifically, which is all we really want, and for as much as we pay for medical care. Like I feel like you know, like it's no different than if a kid is in school and they came to me as a school psychologist and wanted to know why they couldn't read, right, I ran a bunch of tests so I figured out what the problem was. There you go, it's no different and I think that that's I'm excited for you and I'm inspired. I'm like I want. I want to kind of do the whole gamut and just see I do.
Speaker 1:You know, I think there's just so much that I don't know about hormones. Like you know, I track my cycle and I know, like when to expect certain hormones to drop and things like that related to my cycle and try to support with what I'm eating and how I exercise. But I'll be honest, I have not looked into hormone replacement at all. Like I know nothing, absolutely nothing about it, um other than like what I've heard through girlfriends that tried it. You know, I don't want to try to speak on that, cause I literally I don't even think I've ever Googled it.
Speaker 2:Fair, fair and there's different things that could be whatever scary or anything else about it. But to know that you know we're going to work through this together and we're going to have options on it and something else that we address and maybe, I don't know, this is really on my mind a whole lot lately, just because I my form of birth control is I use a Paragard, which is that beautiful copper thing that releases no hormones whatsoever. It's just a piece of copper that gets oh my God, I loved it Goes in your uterus. You don't have to worry about anything and I'd be just fine if I was buried with this guy, like we're buddies at this point. He's almost been in there nine years. He's happy, he's in his nice little place. You know, been very effective, doing his thing.
Speaker 2:But supposedly they got to come out in 10 years and I don't know what's going to happen. I did not know that. Yeah, I mean I argued with her about it. I told her I was going to go to war with her about it, but then, whenever we were discussing it, I was like I don't want this thing to come out, I don't want another one to have to go in, I don't want to have to deal with putting something in my arm just for numerous reasons or taking a chance on getting pregnant.
Speaker 2:I'll be 43 with type 1 diabetes, which smells disaster, because you know what the first time it happened, when I was in my 20s, also spelled disaster, so this is a complete no-go. And she mentioned oh, we can do a tubal, like a whole tubalectomy. And I was like when Tomorrow, which I had never heard of before you told me that I know. So this is just what I'm talking about. So me actually sitting there and being like, look, we got to have a conversation because you know time's ticking and I don't know what's going to happen. But she was like, well, and I was like what do you mean? Like a tube's time? Because I don't want that either, cause I don't want to have to deal with, like the ectopic pregnancy or whatever however you pronounce it.
Speaker 2:I was like I don't want any pregnancy whatsoever and she was like we'll just take out all your tubes and leave your ovaries so you don't have to worry about anything else. Like the whole things are coming out, so there's no possibility. And she was like, yeah, and I was like what are you doing tonight? I mean, are you available this afternoon? Yeah, but again, by being willing to sit there and have these conversations, I now have a whole list of solutions or options that I'm able to now take and utilize with data, with a good provider, to just continue to, you know, work on enhancing or preserving what health you have, what health you have. So and I mean this provider that I go to she takes private insurance, but it's mostly like a Medicaid based program, so it's available to all people, that's amazing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's really amazing.
Speaker 2:So I really encourage that.
Speaker 1:Well, I would say I'm excited to go tomorrow, but you know it's never fun. I mean, going to the doctor is never fun, especially the OB, right, it's never fun, um, but I'm always excited to kind of cross it off the list each year and feel safe. You know, I will say I started. You know I've been with my new job one year. Um, I mentioned my husband had some melanoma on his back removed a couple weeks ago, both of those things. If you remember from my reading with Tyler Henry, he predicted what I didn't know that.
Speaker 1:The melanoma too. He did Remind me of that. He said your husband needs to get his skin checked. He needs to make sure that he needs to get his skin checked. He needs to like make sure that he goes and gets his skin checked. And he told me that I need to go to the make sure that I don't delay OB appointments. My gynecologist he was like I need to make sure I get a pap every year and like check for like cervical um, you know cancers and things. So I think it just it like like when Jeff's melanoma when it came back and it was melanoma, I was like fuck, because I'm like now it feels like impending doom a little bit too. But you know, just like Jeff, he got it done, got it cleared, his margins are good, he's good and that's why we do this, that's why we don't delay these appointments, because even though they're scary, you know you'd rather find something than not know it's there.
Speaker 2:Right, Right and again, seek out a specialist in things too, Like I just. But maybe I had providers that were like you're too much of a train wreck to have to deal with, which is 100% possible. I mean, I had a primary care doctor tell me because I was at whatever type 1 diabetes. They're like, well, we can't manage your general health and that you have to go to a specialist for the diabetes.
Speaker 1:I was like, oh, and I was under control but whatever.
Speaker 2:But by doing so you really are able to make sure that your body is full of different systems and, with that being the case, these providers are experts within those different systems. Go to somebody who's an expert within that system to help to make sure that, again, everything is functioning to the best level that it can be. And I know it's a lot of appointments we were just talking, we had our eye appointments, we have our mammoths, we have our OBGYN, I have my endo, I mean all the things, and I think that it is preventative from problems happening later. I think it is corrective to things that are happening right now. That could be improved and I think it just sets up a good example for our kids that we're actually going through and taking care of ourselves. And you know we're going, we're doing like the work, as we kind of say it, and I don't know it's just got to do it.
Speaker 1:That's actually probably the most important thing is showing your kids that it's equally important to take care of yourself and not to delay and go and get checked out. And I kind of like that my appointments all fall this time of year. You know it's like top of the year, you get it checked. It's like I think that's helpful to have certain like yearly reminders. Like I know come in january, I know what's coming, I'm gonna get my boobs squished, check out my hooves, but uh. But you know like there's it's like you know I think it's easier if you're a forgetful person like myself, it's easier to remember to make these appointments.
Speaker 2:So take care of yourself. Be your own advocate. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Right, Be your own advocate. I'll report back on how my appointment goes tomorrow. So yeah, hopefully all clear for another year. All clear for another year. All clear for another year, that's a fun one. Yeah, and put that up.
Speaker 2:Manifest that, right, that's yeah, we got to be working on something, so that's it. Well, hopefully this was helpful again. Maybe it's just kind of what we're going through in this day, but everybody we kind of talk to seems like they're going through the same type of thing, and so, yeah, I don't know. Here we are.
Speaker 1:If you've been putting something off, schedule it today, whatever it is. Skin check I'll be honest, I've never been to a dermatologist. That's probably something I should add to the list of appointments, just to get a baseline, like you said.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, and that's a fun appointment. Those are as invasive as an OBGYN one.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I didn't realize they get like all up in your reel, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that one's coming up at the end of February here.
Speaker 1:So See, I, yeah, that's hard If you're some like I'm a pretty modest person. I'm not like I go in and like drop my drawer, like I, you know it's uncomfortable for me. I I feel like you're probably pretty good at those types of appointments. You're like, eh, check it out, like whatever. Yeah, like I am like, ooh, it's different.
Speaker 2:It is. It's all awkward, but at the end of the day it's just. Everybody's a body like this. I'll text Seth and be like Seth sorry we're talking about like OBGY stealth again and he'll be like hey that's talking about our new boss Right. And he'll be like hey, everybody's got one, or you know, real sweet and understanding and nonjudgmental, and I'm still sitting here. I'm like oh my God, this is my son. God bless him.
Speaker 1:God bless him. God bless him, All right y'all. Well, that's all we got for this week. Until next week, Lylas Out you.
