The LYLAS Podcast
If you know what LYLAS stands for, then this podcast is for you! Two besties since middle school turned moms and psychologists dish on "the good, the fun, and the yucks" of life! We're tackling all things mental health, "mom balance" (whatever the hell that is), transitions in life (divorce, career, aging parents, parent loss, loss of friendships), self-care, travel, healthy habits, raising kids, and allllllll the things us midlife mamas are experiencing. We hope each week listeners feel like they just left a good ol' therapy session with their bestie! We'll dish on all the tips and tricks to keep your mental health in check and enjoy this thing called life! Meet your life's newest cheerleaders-- Sarah & Jen! LYLAS!
The LYLAS Podcast
The LYLAS Podcast, Season 4, Episode 73, Easing Into the New Year: B2B
Ever wonder if the January rush to set resolutions might be more counterproductive than constructive? As we step into 2025, we question the traditional New Year's mindset, pondering whether a springtime start, when nature itself renews, might be wiser. Reflecting on a quarter-century since Y2K and our high school days, we share personal anecdotes about the rapid passage of time, the surreal anticipation of our 25-year reunion, and how we've evolved in our approach to growth and change. The conversation underscores the need for flexibility and intention rather than rigid goals, especially as we transition from the challenges of 2024.
We explore how winter's low energy can prompt us to rethink the timing of goal-setting, advocating for a gentler, more forgiving approach to self-improvement. By embracing rest and reflection, we challenge societal norms that equate nonstop busyness with success. We celebrate the younger generation's embrace of self-love and boundary-setting, highlighting the importance of pacing oneself for long-term well-being. Through our stories, we emphasize that taking breaks and allowing oneself to recharge is not only okay but essential for maintaining balance and perspective in a fast-paced world. Join us as we reframe the narrative around New Year's resolutions and advocate for a more intentional, self-compassionate start to the year.
Please be sure to checkout our website for previous episodes, our psych-approved resource page, and connect with us on social media! All this and more at www.thelylaspodcast.com
Welcome to Lylas. If you grew up in the 80s and 90s, you probably know what Lylas stands for and, by default, this podcast is for you, hey, hey, welcome to the new year, 2025.
Speaker 2:What, happy New Year. Happy New Year, yeah, it's a big year. I mean, it seems like it's 2025, seems like a big number.
Speaker 1:Right, it's a quarter of a century.
Speaker 2:So, 2025,.
Speaker 1:Our 25 year high school reunion is this year. Is that why you feel like it's a big year? I guess.
Speaker 2:I just feel like You're just pumped to go back to the castle.
Speaker 2:Yeah, pumped to go back to the castle, pumped to be a part of all that again. No, I just feel like maybe it is because we graduated in you know an even year of 2000,. But it's just like 25 just seems like a big number, like whenever it was 1999 and we were getting ready to go into like Y2K and we had to reset all of our computers and do all of this crazy stuff. Just to think that that was actually 25 years ago is just pretty wild, yeah, yeah. It's mind boggling.
Speaker 1:We don't feel that old or it doesn't seem like that much time has passed. It does, but it doesn't. It's a weird. It's definitely weird to think 25 years. I mean, when our 20 year reunion rolled around, I remember thinking like 20 years and then we didn't get to have it because it was the year of COVID and it was all planned and ready to roll and then it all got canceled. But yeah, 25. It is yeah.
Speaker 2:It has a different ring to it.
Speaker 1:It has a different, it has a different feel to it for sure. Yeah, I'm excited for this year. I had a lot of feelings about 2024. It was an amazing year. It was a hard year. In some ways, it was a remarkable year. You know, it's like it's putting to bed. It was just a big year in itself. I felt like it had a lot going on in itself. So I think that, in line with today's topic, I'm sort of easing into 2025. I am, you know, I'm not ready to, you know, jump right in Hardcore, full force. Let's do this, let's kick it off Like I'm. Just. My mindset is way different this year.
Speaker 2:I think that is because 2024 was heavy. It did have a lot going on. But 2024 changed me. I think that's what. It was heavy, it did have a lot going on 2024 changed me.
Speaker 1:I think that's what it was, maybe.
Speaker 2:It changed me.
Speaker 1:Cool.
Speaker 2:How? I guess it's good.
Speaker 1:I mean, I guess every year changes us, but like just the culmination of the experiences that went down last year? Yeah, Definitely. Yeah, Just a lot. So easing into 2025 has been my mantra coming in. What's today January 9th I think, and I still haven't really like come up with like a New Year's resolution, or you know. I got some like long-term goals, you know swirling around out there, but nothing of like oh, I'm going to lose 10 pounds. None of that kind of stuff is happening over here?
Speaker 1:None of like. I'm going to run a marathon. I mean, I, yeah, I'm going to run some runs this year. I'm going to do some exercises. My weight's going to fluctuate like it has for 42 years and you know, I don't, I don't know. It's just a different vibe of like not putting that pressure on myself.
Speaker 2:this year to come up with something to better myself.
Speaker 2:I think that's freeing just in and of itself, though, because I think that we do get at times bogged down by feeling the pressure to have goals or how to go about like the whole setting process, and so just to kind of have that freedom, just to be like you know what we're just going, to kind of coast with this for a little bit and just kind of see what the universe presents or what kind of comes up, I mean it seems like it allows for more flexibility just within our lives whenever we don't have comes up. I mean it seems like it allows for more flexibility just within our lives whenever we don't have some so many things that are so rigidly set, yes, or that kind of hold us down or that can make us feel like a failure or a success or whatever. It just has a little bit more flexibility to whenever we have some ease, I guess, yes.
Speaker 1:I would agree with that and you know I like last year I had my word and it kind of came up when we went to our retreat, our meditation retreat, like picking a word and you know, but I think we had already talked about that before we even did that at the retreat. But this year I have set my word to be intentional because I was like, if I am just really intentional about how I spend my time, what I consume in every way, shape and form, if I start to be really intentional and align that to some long term goals, some things like not trying to like, you know, happen immediately. But if I can start to align some of that, I feel like things might feel easier. I don't know, or goal you know, achieving goals might be a little bit easier than than all this pressure to like not to. There's plenty of room for improvement.
Speaker 1:I'm not saying I'm perfect by any means and that there's not room for improvement, but it's like I'm just kind of tired of like picking something and like then getting the measuring stick out and being like, ok, did I, did I do it? I mean, yes, there's a time and place for that and we have definitely talked about goal setting and measuring progress. I think they're writing a bunch of stuff for work on it right now, as we speak. However, just right now I'm trying to embrace this idea that winter is really about like rest and restore and I'll start setting some goals maybe in like a month or two, when I've had some time to reflect and like take it all in Because, like I said, last year was a big year, a lot to process. Just because the year end doesn't mean you fully like processed everything that has happened, you know.
Speaker 2:Right, right, no, I definitely think that that's true and just even in, like some of the silly memes or things that you would see about, like just burning sage, you know what I mean To get rid of 2024. Or you know those ones about calling God to see if you got like the prosperous plan instead of like the dumpster fire one.
Speaker 1:I just think that, yeah, I think that's right.
Speaker 2:It just speaks collectively, I think, to our need, that we just need maybe sometimes we just do need that time just to process, to not even reset, but just to kind of like I don't know gradually, like you said, ease into things. So that way we're being more intentional, not as rigid, and just allowing things to go a little bit more with whatever flow is happening within our life. Now that has its own sword to it too, because then you can become complacent I guess right or you could, you know, slip down like a lazy slope pretty easy, or just become non-motivated. But I think that if you have that keyword like intention, then that serves as a block for any of the other sides of that coin that you could find yourself on.
Speaker 1:Right, cause I'm still going to be intentional where I put my energy, you know, and for me it's kind of like going this idea of going back to the basics instead of adding like something new, or, you know, like I'm going to be really intentional to make sure that I am getting those five basic things that I set how many years ago that I said.
Speaker 1:I would do each day, like you know, just going back to the basics and even like honing those skills, meditating for longer amounts of time, increasing that, but like doing the basics versus adding something new. To me that just is where I'm feeling the shift a little bit this year is just really like doubling down on the good things I've put into place and then like almost honing those, if that makes sense.
Speaker 2:Oh, definitely yeah, Resolidifying a good base so that way whatever presents itself can have a sturdy place to kind of land.
Speaker 1:Well, I just saw how impactful some of those practices were in supporting me throughout this last year. When I keep saying it's a big year, you know like a lot happened good and bad and you need I need those types of supports in all of those situations, because I get overstimulated and anxious and you know, I have lots of things that I have to pledge internally and um, and so I need those sort of like tools and once, once you see how effective they are in helping you, it becomes kind of a no-brainer. So it's like, okay, it's almost like I feel like I'm in prepare mode, but I'm like is that like some sort of bad omen of what's to come this year? But it very much feels like go inward, get quiet, go back to the basics you know what I mean Like that's the vibe that I'm feeling for January of 2025.
Speaker 2:I think it's perfect and I mean I think that that's a month well spent on reflection. I mean I don't know that just because it's a month well spent on reflection, I mean I don't know that just because it's a new year we just have to go gung-ho into things, like you can make a goal for yourself any day of the year.
Speaker 1:There's nothing special about January 1. Right.
Speaker 2:Thank you. So I think that that's one big thing and I think we just have to start. When we're ready to start to do something, and whenever we feel that internal kind of drive, push, motivation, then just don't question it, just go with it, because you're getting that sign of intention from somewhere. And if right now it is just like, let's just kind of you know, it's winter chill time, let's just kind of chill Hibernation, mm-hmm, you know, mm-hmm's just kind of chill hibernation.
Speaker 1:You know it is kind of. It's funny when you think about it. We try. It's funny that the new year, which falls for us in the middle of winter you know this idea of like rebirth and renew and and you're like like coming out the gate which is really more of like that springtime vibe, right, and and it's interesting. I'm sure there've been studies on this, I have no idea, but it's interesting because I wonder if people would be more successful at keeping new year's resolutions if new year's fell in like April 1st. Oh, you know what I mean. Like at a time where, like, you want to get outside and it's beautiful and you want to exercise more and walk more and see your neighbors and have more social outings, and like all those types of things that tend to kind of fall to the wayside in the winter, because, why it doesn't naturally lend itself to a time of uh energy.
Speaker 2:it doesn't lend itself to a type of energy it is in itself, in my opinion.
Speaker 1:Just a different energy, a seasonal energy Like not a let me go conquer the world. Chiseled abs. I'm under four layers right now. I don't need chiseled abs. I'm not real motivated to do a crunch at the moment. Right that winter, what did they say?
Speaker 2:Summer ball, I don't need chiseled abs, like I'm not real motivated to do a crunch at the moment. Right, that winter, what did they say? Winter flume? Yes, summer bods are made in the wintertime, that's right. I've got 12 inches of snow around me right now. My room is lit up by the white. That's everywhere. We don't need to put on lights around here. If the sun's out, the reflection of the snow lights our whole house. Yes, lights our whole house.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but it just doesn't make sense, and I think even from a more and maybe this is kind of a reach scientifically, but I mean seasonal affective disorder, right, I mean, we're kind of at its like peak, you know, during this kind of time right here, and although it can happen in the summertime, for some folks, it's still like who was it that thought that January one is the time for us just to be super motivated and go out and change our entire self, the world or whatever else? I mean, god bless you, but you're 100% right. The, the energy that is within, just doesn't necessarily support that and I am just not a believer in that. You have to have. There's no special date to start something. It's the day you start. It is the special date.
Speaker 1:Right, it's the day you believe you can achieve it. That's the day you should start it Right. Yes, the day you feel motivated, we're super aligned on that, at least.
Speaker 2:I mean.
Speaker 1:I feel like I just am like sliding into January. I had like 47 unread text messages this morning and I mean I think that just indicates once again. But I'm being very intentional, right, like I'm trying to read more at night, like stay off my phone, like that is a byproduct of like some of the other things that I'm trying to intentionally put my energy into that I'm you know, but even still I just feel like so far behind for whatever reason, and again it's that like measuring stick of you feel like everybody else is, like you know, on their new fad diet, going to have that summer bod in no time and you're over here under four layers having chocolate covered pretzels for the third time this week.
Speaker 1:But you know, it's just, it is what it's January. I'm just not feeling it this year Easing in. We'll get there, we will get there. The pretzels will eventually be gone, but we still have a lot of snacks from the holidays around here.
Speaker 2:Yeah Well, and I mean, if that's part of it, that's part of it, but it's just, I think, just being self-forgiving in that you don't have to be on turbo mode.
Speaker 1:Right you know, everything is a competition.
Speaker 2:No, and also the holidays are exhausting.
Speaker 2:So if you think I mean, maybe some people do but if you think that you're going to have, like again, a whole bunch of energy that is going to be sustained throughout the month of January after coming off of a challenging, heavy a year that had a lot going on, and then you have the holidays, which, rightly or wrongly, are its own beast, you know that you feel like you just have like a hangover from that just doesn't go away in 24 hours, right, and then you're just going to be able to sustain that amount of like energy and gumption for a whole month.
Speaker 2:I just think that that is setting yourself up for failure. So if you've made resolutions or goals and you find yourself on the struggle bus or that you just need to kind of like maybe reevaluate plan, take a week, take two, take the whole month, just to kind of get just chill acts, reflect inward, give yourself some grace before you feel like you just have to find a whole bunch more within you. Whenever it's already kind of like at a third of a tank, I just don't know how successful you're going to be if you start that low.
Speaker 1:I appreciate you saying that because it is validating just to hear, as women and mothers and I'm sure men feel this way too. I'm not trying to like dog dads or anything, but like December, between Thanksgiving and Christmas, the amount of logistical energy that my brain had to figure out was, I mean it just, and it is every year, but it is so much that it is so exhausting and it is you kind of expect yourself. You know you have like even if you take time off around the holidays, you expect yourself to be refreshed, but I don't care who you are, like it's exhausting. And then that you come back and your kids go back to school and you go back to work and you're like I never like actually took a breath and just like even like had the time to reflect on how grateful you were for the time with your family. Even you know, like even to absorb how grateful you are for being able to travel and get together with family and having people around that you genuinely want to be with.
Speaker 1:Like it's all just a rush, at least for me, and maybe it's because my family's all over the damn place and it's a lot of traveling involved, but it does. It does wear on you. Maybe it's just because we're older, damn place, and it's a lot of traveling involved, but it it does, it does wear on you. Maybe it's just because we're older too, but it's exhausting, it is. It's not probably part of this whole, like me just being a little defiant and like I refuse, I will rest, damn it. I'm tired. I need a minute to take a breath.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it is. I also like what you said it's about also. Just we haven't even had time to reflect on the positive.
Speaker 1:Right, right. You know and absorb it, because I think that's how you really absorb it.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, and that may even be from like the whole year or anything else. It's just like I don't know. I think it's part of our society, I think it's part of our culture, I think it's part of our self-imposed expectations and getting into comparison games or whatever else, but you don't always got to be going a thousand miles an hour, yeah. Yeah, I don't know how much we would actually gain by taking some time to slow down, like I used to tell my patients that a lot of times, like if they were just overwhelmed with things. I say sometimes you have to slow down and catch up.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I know that that doesn't kind of make sense. We say that all the time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you've got to kind of find that pacing mechanism within yourself in order to be able to sustain anything long term.
Speaker 1:I love that. That's such a great reminder. I don't know about you, but that Alabama song I'm in a hurry just popped in my head when you were talking about it, because it is. It was one of those songs that I, you know, listen to on my run mix a lot, because it is about like you're always in a hurry to the point where, like life's not even fun you know, and like if it's not fun, like what's the purpose of all of this?
Speaker 1:Like we have to slow down and really like listen and absorb and take time for ourselves, and for some reason that became like a shameful thing almost, or it was like growing up it was you know, you were lazy, like if you, if you weren't. And I think some people are just like naturally busy bodies, like they have to be moving, and I am not one of those people and, um, you are, I would say you're a busy body Like you can't sit still.
Speaker 1:But just because I'm not that way, doesn't make me lazy. You know what I mean. Like there, there's like this if you actually take time to rest, there's this like laziness about it. I don't know. The new generation doesn't seem to have problems with this. They are very much all about, like you know, and which. Good for them. Good for them for recognizing and setting boundaries if that's what they're doing.
Speaker 2:But they're an interesting crew. Now that you mention that they have this whole self-love boundary thing down, they just kind of cruise into things. They don't let the small stuff kind of get to them.
Speaker 1:For the most part they're insightful and we're generalizing based off of what, like the five 20 year olds that we have.
Speaker 2:however, it is interesting to look at how differently they go about things oh, so much, yeah, yeah, and I think that even with your point about lazy and that's what if I, I guess, like a um, irrational or unhealthy or whatever thought that I have, if I'm not doing something, then I'm being lazy.
Speaker 1:Right Like where did that come from? Where did that idea come from? I?
Speaker 2:don't know. But I mean I've been absolutely sick as absolute shit. Little bit, I mean kind of like all week, but definitely like last night into today, and I've done four loads of laundry dishes and I'm about ready to go outside and shovel some more fucking snow because it's still snowing it's nice. I don't know what's happening, it won't stop um, but it's just because you know you. Just I don't know you can't sit still.
Speaker 1:That's just part of your kind of hyperactivity. I think you have excess motor activity. However, I'm just saying, like that idea of like, even if it's if I'm not reading a book, if I'm scrolling my phone, I'll be like, if I'm not somehow like bettering this human, that I, that I am somehow lazy, yeah, like what if you just wanted to nap? Like what if you just like, genuinely, were exhausted and didn't sleep on the you know Right, I don't know Again generalizing, but I'm just saying in general, like that idea that not every weekend has to be filled, not every you know no all the things.
Speaker 1:We can really take some time, go inward, reflect, not hit the ground running. I mean I've worked out one time this week. You know how unusual that is for me, but again, it's just part of like this week, of like I'm I'm almost like being defiant, like I won't hurt myself this week. I just won't do it. Good for you, I need a minute. I need a breath. Next week I'll be back. She'll be back this week. She needs a minute.
Speaker 2:Needs a minute. And you know what, if you're on it this week and you find out that next week is your week, that you need a break, right, give yourself some grace and just kind of go for it For real.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So I guess the message is is that if you haven't went into 2025, guns a-blazin' you're okay. You're okay, there's nothing wrong, and I think there's even probably more things right about, just like you said, going back to basics, taking some time to reflect inward, chilling out whatever it kind of comes down to you doing for you. This is actually the time to do it, and then, when the sun starts to come out, when it starts to get warm, whenever life starts to breed back into our environment, then maybe you go hardcore.
Speaker 1:Right, you know spring opens up. I'm going to start some like facial massages, like some of the other stuff that I want to just try, but like right now it doesn't feel like the time New, like some of the other stuff that I want to just try, but like right now, it doesn't feel like the time New year, same me, and it's okay.
Speaker 2:Just going back to the basics, and that's beautiful. I think that's a really good message. Honestly, you know what? We don't have to be transformational all the time, do we?
Speaker 1:No, and that's part of it too right, Like if you feel like you had a pretty transformational year, like that's not going to be every year of your life fully, you know, hopefully. And so I think there's something to be said for that too, of like rest and restore, you know, because eventually you will have another year like that and you're going to need that too.
Speaker 2:A butterfly looks like it's dead in its cocoon before it starts to come out and wiggle. You know it? Just it does. We all need some time. Take that time of rest and then come out and be this beautiful butterfly that then starts flying around the joint.
Speaker 1:That sounds like a butterfly. Yeah, it does. So. No, it'll all work out, love it. Well, all right, I'm gonna go play dead caterpillar there you go, right.
Speaker 2:No, it's like whenever it's like, you know, changing into its thing from a caterpillar, I mean, to a butterfly, like it's kind of in a cocoon for a bit and you wouldn't know that there was actually a live thing happening there because it looks still on the outside. But you know, on the outside there's a lot happening, yeah, and I think that even right now we may not be like again gung-ho on a bunch of stuff, but still a lot's happening. We just need some time to kind of let some of that stuff just settle, that's right, and then we'll be buzzing around the place like a little butterfly again.
Speaker 2:That's right, here we go Ready for spring Ready for spring Right now.
Speaker 1:I bet you are. I'm actually looking at a beautiful day here in Charleston. Oh man, it's probably like 50 degrees out. If I had to guess, the sun shining, blue skies.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's so chilly.
Speaker 2:Yeah, 50 degrees out, if I had to guess, the sun shining skies, yeah, yeah, I think that's another thing too. That makes it hard is that it's not we here where I'm at, and by the time this podcast comes out, we'll be hit with another winter storm, so there'll be that as well. Um, but we haven't had a chance to kind of get back on a regular routine. That means school didn't start for us on Monday. I'm on Thursday, right, and school's still out, and I don't think it's going to be back, maybe tomorrow and then next week if we get that next storm coming in. Who knows? So again, I got to be not so harsh on myself or on what I want to do if the environment around me is not permitting this stuff from happening yeah, yeah, right, I'm sure there are a lot of moms in your situation.
Speaker 1:Actually I didn't think about that, but like if you also haven't had school all week, oof, talk about extra layer of just hard. Yeah, virtual school the first week of the first week back of january out? Yeah, it's, but that's why I'm out there shoveling whenever I'm right, I feel like I First week of January, ouch, yeah, that's why I'm out there shoveling whenever I feel like I should be dead. You're like I'll take the outdoor activities, right, right.
Speaker 2:So here we are, but to each their own.
Speaker 1:Well, I hope you feel better. Yeah, I hope that the kids have school next week.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh, Me too. I think everyone around here is hoping that, because it's just you just say that such cabin fever, and then again like how can you be motivated whenever you just are stuck Right and a situational stocks are different than mental stocks and right, but both can feed into each other. So you again need to be aware of what's happening within your environment as a whole, so that way it doesn't exceed past that point. Yeah, so we'll get there. We'll get there. Take a break.
Speaker 1:Happy 2025. Ease into your new year. Give yourself some grace. I feel like we say that a lot. We're basically like give yourself a pass anytime you need it, which is true, do it?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think it is, and I think that we grew up in a generation where that wasn't okay and it didn't work out. So right here we are.
Speaker 1:That's right. Well, all right. Well, that's all we got for this week. Until next week, y'all we out.
