The LYLAS Podcast
If you know what LYLAS stands for, then this podcast is for you! Two besties since middle school turned moms and psychologists dish on "the good, the fun, and the yucks" of life! We're tackling all things mental health, "mom balance" (whatever the hell that is), transitions in life (divorce, career, aging parents, parent loss, loss of friendships), self-care, travel, healthy habits, raising kids, and allllllll the things us midlife mamas are experiencing. We hope each week listeners feel like they just left a good ol' therapy session with their bestie! We'll dish on all the tips and tricks to keep your mental health in check and enjoy this thing called life! Meet your life's newest cheerleaders-- Sarah & Jen! LYLAS!
The LYLAS Podcast
The LYLAS Podcast, Re-Release for the Summer, "Rituals & Routines"
So we are kicking it back to some of our favorites from Seasons 1-3 of The LYLAS Podcast as we prepare for Season 4! This hot fav from Season 1 hopefully hits us all where we need it most during these summer months... working on having some "Rituals & Routines" to survive the heat, the kiddos being home, and how our lives can just get off track... "its fine," lol!
Be sure to follow, like, and subscribe on all our social media accounts and give us some suggestions for topics for Season 4!
Please be sure to checkout our website for previous episodes, our psych-approved resource page, and connect with us on social media! All this and more at www.thelylaspodcast.com
Hey folks, it's Sarah Stevens with the Lylas Podcast and we are here to make an announcement. We have decided to re-release some of our favorite episodes from seasons one through three as we are on summer break and preparing for season four. Our first re-release is going to be from season one, episode 10, rituals and Routines. Let's get real, we may all be in the summer slump or struggling with summer schedules, with kids vacations, them staying home from school, and we might all just need a little bit of a reset. Tune into this episode for some tips and tricks, and be sure to follow us on all social media accounts and give us your suggestions for season four, as we are looking forward to a new release of the Lylas Podcast.
Speaker 2:Welcome to Lylas. If you grew up in the 90s and know what that stands for, then by default this podcast is for you.
Speaker 3:So happy to have everybody yes, so happy to have everybody continuing to join us to listen in to our podcast Blows my mind, Hit it.
Speaker 2:I know I'm so proud of us. We're doing it. We're doing the damn thing.
Speaker 3:That's exactly right. Your word of consistency has really paid off, because here we are being consistent.
Speaker 2:We're trying. That's the goal right, Just got to keep doing it.
Speaker 3:Every day, every day, just keep plugging away at something, which is why we thought that this topic that we're going to discuss today, I guess, is just so important.
Speaker 2:The schedule of your routines. Yeah, we've talked about it so much. We've kind of dropped a few nuggets here and there in the last couple episodes about how important our rituals and routines are to us individually. But today we're going to do a deep dive and really go into what our personal rituals or routines look like and how we got them started, sort of how we chose each of our. You know the things that we do in our routines and how they've benefited us in many ways, specifically to help with, you know, mental health first and foremost, but also just to show ourself that self-care, that self-love that is so important. So I'm excited about this. I could talk about this subject all day.
Speaker 3:I know it is fun because it's so practical and it's something that, honestly, I just feel like so many people just struggle with on a day-to-day basis, because the idea of doing it just seems so big and grand that it's like, well, where do you even start, what do you even do? And you know, as we kind of talk about it, having our own personal scheduling routines is important, but also for our family it is critical, and you know this better than I. But even just for, like, child development reasons, like having that kind of consistency does helps them to grow and bloom even more within their lives too. And so, yes, this is a fun one. I love it, I live it. I hope everybody has something that they want to contribute to it.
Speaker 2:Well, I think for rituals. You know I used to tell parents a lot of routines. Like children thrive in routines, I personally thrive in routines. I know both of us are diagnosed with attention deficit disorder and so we both certainly creatures of habit and thrive in a routine. You get us out of a routine and it can be a little bit more difficult for us, especially in a professional setting. But routines at least for me, it was the only way I survived as a working mom with two little kids and a husband that traveled quite a bit. And so I really Especially when I was thinking back when I was working because up until nine months ago I was a working mom and I had it down to a science I would get up at 4.30, 4.45 in the morning. I would sometimes squeeze a workout in and then start the morning of packing lunches and getting everybody ready, and we were out the door by 6.15 and I was picking up my Starbucks at 6.20. And we were standing at the preschool at 6.30 when they opened so I could throw them in and then zoom off to work and get there by 6.50, 6.55. So that routine came out of necessity.
Speaker 2:So when I stopped working, when I go back and read my journals from September, august, september when I would have been back to work typically I noticed that I was just floundering. I can read, I was writing, I'm really struggling, and so I picked up the book Atomic Habits by James Clear and I started reading it and it was just talking about how habits sort of take over. Once you build a habit, it's like a muscle and it sort of takes over to the point where you don't even have to think about it, you just start doing it. Once you've started doing something, and most people know it takes about 30 days to establish a habit. And so I just All the things I was listening to, everything I was reading between that book and the podcasts that I was listening to, they all seem to be talking about habits and having our routines, and so I came up with this I'm going to do five things every day. I'm going to do my five daily habits, and so I started just listing.
Speaker 2:I took stock of, like, what are my good habits, what are the things that I already do in a day that are good? And then what are some things that I might want to improve or add to my daily habits? What are some things that I'm trying to improve upon. So I took stock of that and so I wanted to marry the two. I picked a couple that I already did for the most part, and then a couple of things that I wanted to add into my routine, and came up with my five things.
Speaker 2:I love it and so, yeah, it just sort of works for me. At first it took a lot of effort and I didn't hit all five things every day. I was like, okay, I got three out of the five done today. But ever since the new year has rolled around, I've been working on consistency and doing everything, all five things, consistently every day, and I always say I feel like superwoman if I can get all five of them accomplished by 830 in the morning. Wow, because it takes getting up before the kids and really doing those things, not doom scrolling on Instagram or whatever you know Doom scrolling.
Speaker 3:that is hilarious.
Speaker 2:Scrolling is what we call it at our house, Never heard that before. It takes some planning and practice, but that's sort of how I got started with my daily five, which I, you know, I kind of like live and die by that ritual and it helps me. It bring me back to me, it helps me feel like myself. I enjoy that time by myself. I know that I'm doing things to better myself. I have this core belief that if I do these five things every day I will better myself and that's ultimately the goal, at least for me. So that's sort of how I got started. How did you get started with your routines? Is it something that you've been doing for a long time or is this a new routine?
Speaker 3:for you, honestly, so much of my life, it just has to come out of necessity. I think, and you know, as I kind of talked about, I think, like at episode three, as I kind of talked about, I think, like at episode three, my life changed whenever I got diagnosed with type one diabetes and that disease in and of itself does require you to be very aware and to have some patterns of complete consistency, just in order to kind of maintain your health. But then I think that that also happened at the time in which I was becoming a mom and you know I had already done, like this, 10 years of education that was supposed to, like, you know, help me understand how to hopefully raise a good human or be one, and it just it really came from all of those things combining together at one point in time and knowing that if I was able to do this with him then he would also thrive in having some kind of structure within his life. And so the way that I kind of conceptualize my schedule and routines is kind of like a tree and I think of routines as being the roots of the tree that have to be grounded, that really need to be the things that stay consistent within my life. And then the branches of the tree are strong, but they can also withstand the wind as it's starting to come, and that's my schedule, and all of our schedules change so much due to work, due to, you know, doing things with our parents, with our significant others, with our children, with our dog, with whoever is around at that point of time, including ourselves maybe, in that, in that zone, and so I always think of it as that.
Speaker 3:I have to make sure that my roots, which are my sleep habits, like it's important for me to have, and I I even say this to my patients I'm like you know, I'm sorry, but you have to have a bedtime Like we can negotiate as to what that bedtime is going to look like, but guess what, you're still at every age of life. It's important for us to have some type of bedtime and we have to have some type of consistent wake time, and so my sleep habits are very structured and consistent, and even whenever I travel and go places, I have to be very aware of trying to keep that a piece of things too, just because, again, a lot of my blood sugar, a lot of time, is regulated by rest and sleep and so my metabolism, which is a part of your sleep cycle. Everything can get messed up if that doesn't stay on point, and so I'm very consistent whenever it comes to that Meal times. I always have to make sure that I am again consistent on those types of things, just for a life-based kind of structure and then activity, and so that's what I kind of think of as my grounding for my routines. It has to focus on those three things, but I'm not rigid in terms of when, like my physical activity kind of component gets done.
Speaker 3:Whenever you were talking about getting up at like four, 4.30 in the morning, I was like, oh my God, like I'm an early person too, but this can. I bought my body runs like a computer, so it shuts down and it's down, and then whenever it boots, it's up, but it does not typically boot at like four 30. And so I try and I use an app Um, and you've talked about your Melissa Wood app Um, it's called Better Me and I actually saw it through like scrolling probably doom scrolling now new word on like Facebook or something, and it was talking about like different workouts that you could do, and some of it was wall Pilates, and I was like, well, I've never. I like wall workouts, I like things that just rely on you for your own source of strength and movement, and I've never been able to watch something on my phone and then kind of go through with it. So some people were able to like do yoga virtually and stuff like that. I was never that person. I couldn't. I could learn dance routines from those videos in the nineties, but I could not do these Austin like workout routine.
Speaker 3:I don't know what the difference was, but there must've been something. But I do that and I just have it as part of my schedule, that I do it as I can, and so I may do that workout in the morning, it may be in the afternoon, it may be in the evening, but it's at least a 30 minute workout that I'm trying to get in, just to have that movement as part of my life, and then that way whatever happens with my schedule is able to flow just kind of like the branches of a tree, easier, because I'm so grounded in what my routines are. So that's what I found. That kind of worked well for me, and again, it's mainly became, you know, in so many ways out of necessity, that those things are so consistent within my life, but it has helped because I'm such a twirl in every other way or have so many other hats that just get shifted, based upon every 15 minutes of the day, as to what I'm doing. So that's pretty well with that, I would say.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I completely agree that it will help ground you, just having some sort of routine to come back to. I feel like it's a great grounding technique, which we've talked a lot about this season as well. My daily five. When I said I picked the five things, there were some things that I was already doing that I just wanted to be more consistent at. So I've talked a lot about meditation.
Speaker 2:That's definitely one of my daily five, but the very first thing that I do when I wake up, the first thing on my list is hydration, because I think, just like rest, I think being properly hydrated is equally as important. So the first thing I do is I have my I just added this new habit in, but I started athletic greens, which is like a powder that you mix in with water. It's for all vitamins and helps with digestion, those types of things. So I have that on an empty stomach and then I have my hot water with lemon and then, once I finished that, I meditate, usually for like 15 to 20 minutes, and then I have a cup of coffee and that is like one of the most blissful hours of my entire morning. I thrive when I get to do all of those things sort of back to back and then, typically after I finished my coffee, I'll do my workout for the day. So that's what I say. If I can get those four things done before 8.30 or even 7, before the kids wake up, I feel like superwoman, because the rest of the day is mine. And then my fifth thing that I do after my workout is I try to listen to a podcast, read a book, journal, something like that, just for more of my mind, just to give my mind some more love. So those are my daily five, my ride or die.
Speaker 2:I have to get those things done, my non-negotiables, as I tell myself. They have to be done for me to be my best self every day. And it's been amazing to me how, once I started doing those five things consistently, it made such an impact on the rest of my day, on my motivation, on my attention, on my mood. That's probably the biggest one, my mood. Once I get those five things out of the way, I feel like I could conquer the world.
Speaker 2:And so I see the benefit that so many people were talking about in establishing your daily habits. I see the benefit that so many people were talking about in establishing your daily habits. I see the benefit of practicing that with consistency every day. It just sort of takes over. You don't have to think about it. You can be traveling, you can do those five things no matter where you are. And one thing that we had talked about is establishing something that works for you. So my daily five works for me. I curated it just for myself, but I think every person has to come up with their non-negotiables when forming some sort of routine or ritual that they're going to do every day, wouldn't you agree?
Speaker 3:Absolutely, and I think whenever you start to do this because this is something that the idea of it, again it just sounds so big to kind of tackle just start with the very basics, you know, and I would just really don't hold yourself to it with a, you know, a tight grip either Be forgiving of yourself whenever you are starting this process of figuring out what's best for you, because you're not going to likely get it on the first go, like it's going to take a bit of time for you to really set in and see, wow, this is the. I feel better whenever I do this or I feel worse whenever I don't, you know, and the only way that you're going to find that out is by forgetting to do one of those things, or is by adding something else in or taking something out, and I just feel like that that's really important to be forgiving of yourself as this process starts to happen, but also to know that it evolves over time as well, and so, as different things happen and change within your life, don't be afraid to shake it up just a bit to accommodate whatever other changes you know you might be going through at that kind of point, whether it's a death, a birth, a job change, you know, a breakup, it just doesn't matter. But just know that those external factors too are going to. You know, weave into, yeah, yeah, what you're doing and just to kind of again, the goal is not perfection. I think sometimes, whenever we use the word consistency, it's, you know, a joint to perfection and that's not it.
Speaker 3:Consistent is just, you know, a behavior that you're trying to implement, given your best effort, not one that you are have to be very, very so rigid on that. If you don't do it, then the world's going to crash, because there's going to be a day where that happens and you know you need to press that reset button and you feel like it's unaccessible until tomorrow. It's not. There's the buttons here, it's always always there. We just have to kind of sometimes reel ourself and I think, from that moment in order to do it so if I oversleep one day or if I don't, you know, get that 30 minute workout in I have to be forgiving with myself in the day that that happens and not get so hung up like I didn't accomplish something because I didn't do it. It was that there were other interferences that kind of came in. So I just need to again be patient, be kind and committed to getting back into that routine without allowing it to serve as a train wreck for my day.
Speaker 2:Right, don't let it totally derail what you're doing. Yeah, we talked a lot about how we both were sort of transitioning from our careers over this season and for me, that transition having worked basically since I was did I was really struggling with like, who am I? You always kind of attach yourself to whatever profession you're doing at the time, and so I was really struggling with having, like you know, just some sort of like idea of who I was. You know, going into this new season of life not knowing how long it would last or anything like that season of life, not knowing how long it would last or anything like that. And so once I started to establish this routine to do every morning, it gave me something to do.
Speaker 2:Also, my mornings were so scheduled, they were so rigid before I had to leave the house at a certain time to get to work on time, and it creates a lot of anxiety for me if things don't go the way that I expect them to go. And so just having this to fall back on gave me something else to focus on in the morning. So like, nope, I got to get my water, I got to get my coffee, I got to meditate, I got to get these things done so that I can move on with the rest of my day. But it really has served such a huge piece of me trying to transition from being a full-time working mom into a full-time stay-at-home mom. I'm about to transition again into a part-time working mom and so again I'm going to have to. My habits or my rituals are going to change a little bit, based on having to get out the door and figure that stuff out again, going to a new place. But I'm committed to those and I've been practicing them for so long now, for so many months. I've sort of built that muscle up that I feel confident that I can add or move it to a different part of the day if I have to. But I feel pretty confident that I can continue on with my daily five and, if not, add some more to it. Like you know, certainly, like you said, as we change and our situations evolve, some of our habits and our rituals are going to change as well, and that's okay too. It's a fluid process. It's like anything you you have your goals and then you need to kind of come up with how you're going to achieve those goals.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, I just I found it so useful in any kind of like transition in life, whether you just had your first baby, you just had your second baby, all of those things require you to come up with some sort of routine, bedtime routines. Their whole lives, especially those first couple of months after you have a new baby, your whole life is routine bound, and so having something for yourself to come back to is so important. So many new mothers struggle with anxiety, depression, postpartum depression, having something for themselves to transition, because it's hard for everybody. I don't care who you are. That's a transition that you know. It's very easy to kind of lose yourself in and you've got to come back to yourself. And what are you doing to show yourself love and grace in this transition of your life?
Speaker 3:Oh, I totally agree. I think the way you put it is beautiful too. Like it just so, having these things kind of set. It is self-care, it is self-love, it is a healthy behavior. And going to again, I love it that the kids know that you know we have certain bedtimes, or that we something that I think that they pick up on and appreciate it and are curious about too. So it is, it's just so important in every area of our life. I am very curious about something, though, so I think, if I am, probably maybe other people are are. So whenever you do your meditative practice and you say you can do it kind of anywhere which is awesome because we do need to have, like those Swiss army knives that can come out at any point what are you doing? Like? Are we sitting in like a dark?
Speaker 2:corner. That has the whole ritual with it in itself and that one changes from time to time, but the basics, the same things that I do every day. I've got, you know, my hot water with lemon. I usually finish it. I usually brew my coffee right before I meditate so that it is cooled off enough for me to drink the minute I'm done, so I'll brew my cup of coffee, I'll have it sitting there and then I have this little I don't know what it is.
Speaker 2:It's like a little jar of potpourri that my mother-in-law sent me from this hippie store I like out in Breckenridge and I take a couple sniffs of it just so I do a really deep inhale and then exhale. It's got some essential oils in it and then I usually put some lavender on my wrists, or I've got some lavender lotion I'll put on my hands just to rub them together, get that fire started, kind of like rub them together, kind of get that fire started. And then I put my earbuds in and I pull up my Melissa Wood Health app, go to meditations and just whatever I'm feeling that day. She's got so many on that site and she's brought on so many other creators that have different styles of guided meditation, which at first I was like, well, this is a little, even too woo for me. But now that I've gotten into them, I dig it. I like it, I like the way it makes me feel. It certainly has me have a much more positive view of myself and it's just completely changed my mindset. And so I dig it all. But yeah, I open my app, I kind of go through what I'm feeling that day, what I feel like I need, and I choose my meditation and I just drop right in and it's guided meditation.
Speaker 2:I think that's important. I'm not sitting there trying to just clear my head. It's very specific. You're focusing on your breathing. Sometimes they will give you mantras, so on your inhale you might think like I am, and then on your exhale you might think like I am, and then on your exhale, it would be right here just to help you ground and focus on where you're at.
Speaker 2:And in the beginning I did like the much shorter meditations, like five minutes, seven minutes and I really struggled and a lot of times I'd be thinking about something else. But I just I knew that if I stuck with it I would get better at it. And now, like I say, I could meditate for 20 minutes and it feels like two minutes and I drop into this place that I didn't even know really existed in my mind, where I can think about you, can still think, but you're also so focused on your body and your breathing, so focused on your body and your breathing, that it's just like it's like another. I don't know, it's like another level, it's next level for me. And then you, you know it's once you finish, it's not.
Speaker 2:Sometimes, you know, I don't feel it immediately, like I might still be a little bit irritated or whatever. The next one's different the general ritual of starting a meditation. Sometimes, if I'm feeling super woo, I'll get some sage out and clear the air. Or if it's just like I've been in a funk, sometimes I'll do that. Sometimes I'll light a candle. Depends on my vibe that day how much time the kids are here, all those things.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:The basics that I just went through, like that's what every single day looks like for me at the start. And yeah, I'm just a big believer.
Speaker 3:I'm you know that's so cool. Yeah, I'm glad that you share that with us because I think that you know it is one of those topics that whenever we bring it up, like people do meditation, and it just has that, like you said, kind of woo or mystic or you know, ancient or we'd be into, we'd be into cool here to say these types of things, Right, but I mean it's been around for like 2000 years, so who's really trying to be too cool? You know, if we're going to down something like that, it's a part of a different religious base too, I mean.
Speaker 2:That's a great point. That's what Jeff, my Jeff, always says. He was like I see why you gravitate to it, because it is so like kind of religious, you know, practice in a sense, and a lot of times I will pray at the end of my meditation because I am, I do, you know, consider myself fairly spiritual, and so I do a lot of times have a prayer or send love to people that I know are hurting, or could people I feel like could use some love, or I'll kind of like dedicate my meditation to them, if that makes sense, sort of like you might your yoga practice. But I do think it's a great time to sort of drop into prayer because you are so focused at the moment at least I am and that's rare for me to be that focused on something you know not be thinking about a million other things. So, yeah, he always says that it is very like religious, almost in a sense.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I get the feel of that Like certain.
Speaker 3:For me I do more of an active meditation, like it's just my body physiologically I have three autoimmune conditions that are all hyper, so everything is, which I guess, in some ways it's fine, but there's no settle down, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3:There's okay, the plug's been pulled out for the night, but it's going to recharge and be ready to boot the next day, and so for me it's that active meditation kind of from different forms of movement, but it does have that spiritual side to it that I just feel more connected and I think for most, you know, whatever your religious practice is, elements of self-care, of being present in the moment, of just allowing yourself to be our cornerstones.
Speaker 3:At least, you know, my knowledge base is like the three, maybe four biggest religions in the world that exist is having that kind of space and time with things. So I do think that that's a key part of it. I even know from, like my yoga experience, one of my, my greatest teacher that I had throughout all of it. She would almost start every practice and end every practice with some type of prayer, whether it was in Sanskrit or whether it was in English or whatever it was, but it was always this way to kind of like drop in and to be present within it, and I just it's so nice to have that as an added benefit to it too, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so one of the creators on the Melissa Wood Health app. She does a lot of like chants at the beginning or maybe at the end, and so I do them now. Like I said, it was a little woo for me in the beginning, but now I'm, I've come around to it and I'm full in Drink the Kool-Aid.
Speaker 2:Right, totally drink the Kool-Aid. But I often wonder what my kids and my husband think when they can hear me up here chanting, because I tend to meditate upstairs, sort of away from everybody. But even my kids know like mom's doing her morning routine. They know they can come up but they don't bother me. Mom's doing her morning routine. They know they can come up but they don't bother me, they don't. Jolie came up today and said she wanted breakfast and she's like I didn't want to bother you. I know you were doing your meditations.
Speaker 2:A part of me feels good that I again I'm trying to model for them positive self-help and to be aware that it's okay to take care of yourself and to make time for things that are important to you and that make you feel good about yourself, and so I feel good that she sees me work out at home. My husband and I both have always been gym rats. We've been going to the gym since forever and in the last couple of years, really since COVID, I've dabbled with a few gyms. But ever since I left Orange Theory, I really basically just do home workouts for a run, or I'll do Pilates on Melissa Wood or I did E2M, so I have access to all of their workouts.
Speaker 2:But I think it's important to model that for our kids too, that they see it. They don't necessarily see it when we go to the gym. They would see us sort of like passing like two ships to take turns. But when two parents are trying to go to a gym, that can eat up like four hours of your day. You stretch, you do all the things at least three hours, and so at least when I work out at home I do these quick workouts. My kids are seeing me, sometimes she joins in with me. But just modeling that, I think you know, makes me feel like I'm doing something right.
Speaker 3:Oh 100%.
Speaker 2:You know, when I see her, she'll get mad. She got frustrated and she'll take a deep breath. You know she's using some of the same tools that she's seen me do, and so I just I think that it just makes me feel like I'm doing something right. I truly believe in the things that I'm putting into practice. I think that's the bottom line, is that I believe that these are all good things that help us be the best version of ourselves. Isn't that what we're trying to teach our kids anyway? I don't know.
Speaker 3:A hundred percent. Yeah, no, I think I will not tell anyone or I will not, under most circumstances, model any type of any type of behavior that I would think that would be ineffective or harmful to anyone else. You know, like I'm not ever going to tell anybody to do something that I would not do, or that I don't believe in a hundred percent, I just couldn't do it I don't have a poker face, you could tell if I'm lying, um.
Speaker 3:So at those points, it's best just for me to be like brutally honest and just be like okay, well, there's no sugarcoating to this. So here we go, um, but yes, I just think that, and the buy-in that you have personally to it whenever that's there, it doesn't feel like it's work, it doesn't feel like it's something that you have to do, it's something that you want to do, and that it does have a different feel to it, and so you're right that buy-in just becomes so important to have.
Speaker 2:Well, and that buy-in comes from you being the creator, you being the one to decide okay, what's my daily routine look like, and not someone handing you this prescription saying here's what I want you to do every day. In some situations people might benefit from that, but I think of it like a behavior intervention plan. When I was working with a teacher, I could hand them any. I could come up with the greatest behavior plan on the planet, right? I didn't have to implement it. They did in their classroom with 19 other kids, and I would often say to them this has to work for you. I don't know what works in your classroom with your kids, I can help design one, but ultimately, to get a teacher to buy into a behavior plan, to get yourself to buy into a ritual and a routine, you have to have part in creating that plan Absolutely, and so I think that comes from deciding what works for you. I picked five things. Five's my lucky number. I like the whole idea of the daily five.
Speaker 2:I was listening to a podcast I think it was the Skinny Confidential when they were talking about her daily routine. I mean, her daily routine has like 30 things on it. I was like no way, I mean. But clearly she has built this routine that works for her and a lot of those things she was probably already doing. But I was like I'm going to start with five and I can get those five things done. I'm going to feel pretty good about myself and I do, and so, like I said, at some point I'll start adding some things to it. But I want to get to where these five things happen so seamlessly every day that I don't even have to think about it.
Speaker 2:That I could literally just do them with my eyes closed, and that's sort of my goal, and then I'll add to it. But again, I just think it's you creating that and that gives you the buy-in. And I think it helps to add in some things that you already do, maybe not super consistently, but some things that, like coffee, I knew I was going to drink coffee every day. So put it in there, put it, make it one of your goals. You know, right, right, give yourself credit for something you're already doing.
Speaker 2:Give yourself credit for what you're already doing. In most cases, I'm going to read a book or a Bible verse, or write in my journal or something, or listen to a podcast. I'm going to do one of those things every day, so that's why I added that in as. Oh no, I only listed four things. I just remembered my fifth thing. I must have separated two of them because I thought I went over all five, but my fifth thing is my gua sha.
Speaker 2:And I know you're missing the data gua sha and yeah, and again I knew I was. Every day I'm going to put lotion on my face and makeup for the most part, and so that's just part of my every day, and I call it gua sha and gratitude. So while I'm gua shying my face, I just sit there and give lots of gratitude for all the things in my life that I'm grateful for, and so I think it also helps to come from a place of gratitude. It helps start your day off on the right foot and, again, all of those things that are one of those things that I'm going to do regardless. So added that one in as well. So, yeah, my top, my daily five is hydration, meditation, move my body wash and gratitude Love that. What am I missing? My body Washa and gratitude Love that. What am I missing? Meditation Did I say that one? Yeah, oh, podcast read or journal yeah, journal. So those are my daily five. That are are my non-negotiables.
Speaker 3:You see a mind come from a place of like. Really, I guess an area of three Sleep has got to be a part of it, which is a great.
Speaker 2:I mean, that's a great habit to have, is a good sleep pattern.
Speaker 3:Well, it's a behavior. You know what I mean. It's what we train our babies to do is sleep, and as adults, we also have to continue to think of it as that behavior, because it does help us in so many just different life areas. Our whole metabolism, emotional regulation system is based upon our sleep patterns, and so sleep, for me, is it has to occur, even whenever I'm traveling. So we have I think we're going to have a big trip by the time this airs, and so I'll let you know how it goes with us. I've never done it this way, um, but our goal is to stay up all night on. I don't know how this is going to happen, no clue, because I can drink coffee at 10 o'clock at night and be in bed at 1030. Same yeah.
Speaker 1:No effect.
Speaker 3:No effect, same. So somehow we're going to have to stay up all night long and then sleep during the flight, because whenever we wake up, where we're going, it's just going to be like I don't know a different time, like a different day, and we're just going to have to be ready to go. And where are you going? Seoul, south Korea, and then to Japan. We're going to Kyoto and Tokyo. So, yeah, day ahead essentially.
Speaker 3:Yes, yes, and we've done those long flights before, like whenever we went to where the hell were we Jordan and to Qatar, but we always would leave at nighttime so we could sleep then, and then we, you know, we'd wake up and it would be like in the mid afternoon, wherever we were at there, like in Europe and stuff like that. But this time it's going to be like whole other time zone, so it'll be like morning. I don't know what time it'll be, I'll have to look, but we know we're going to have to stay up all night, and so me, maintaining that kind of sleep pattern is important. One trick I do use whenever I go places is I wear a watch like an old school watch that's not like an Apple one that updates wherever you're at, and I never changed the time on it from my home destination.
Speaker 2:That's a great idea.
Speaker 3:Well, it helps for, like, I have to keep taking my insulin a certain time, so it's at that time you know what I mean my time. There is not the same time here, so, but I keep that there. So that way I'm always like grounded to a constant in a way. It helps with that pattern. And so my meal times, non-negotiable. I always believe in nourishing your body and taking the time to do so and in doing it in a way that again promotes that fueling process for whatever it is that your body, however, it processes its own fuel, that you are able to do it and then making sure that there is some type of like activity or movement throughout the day and then, at any time that things just get kind of squirrely or challenging.
Speaker 3:I think of the roots of the tree. Visual imagery is really important to me. I can think about, like, see a whole lot of things, and it makes it very calming. And then I think about the branches, kind of flowing, and the branches are the schedule, and so I'm just going to be flowing with the schedule, the only place where my schedule and I know I'll get called out on this, so I just probably got to just own it, my work schedule. It is a tight oiled machine. Um, if any of my patients ever did happen to listen to this podcast, they'd be like girl, you are, no, no. So it is very, very, very rigid in terms of my time at that place and so, um, that is the only place where things are very like on point no flexibility, no flexibility, which is so interesting.
Speaker 2:We should do an episode on how different our jobs were, because you're a clinical psychologist, I was a school psychologist, or am a school psychologist, I should say. And my day? There was so much flexibility in my day because I never knew what crisis I was dealing with and so I could have a whole day planned. But it rarely went as planned. So I had to be my mind, had to be very flexible in that okay, what are my priorities, what are my non-negotiables that have to get done on this day? And then the rest of the day you have to leave yourself the opportunity. Maybe you're going to have to chase a kid down the street, maybe you're going to have to file a report. You just never knew where the day was taking you, and so I had to be very flexible mentally with my schedule at work, whereas at home I had to be super rigid. And I have to get up at this time, I have to get my stuff done, because the afternoons my brain shuts down at four o'clock and I couldn't.
Speaker 2:I could work out, especially before kids. I used to like to work out in the evenings, but once you have kids, it's just them. You're catering to them all afternoon and evening after school, trying to give them some attention and cook meals or do the bedtime bath routines, and so I felt like everything outside of my work was super rigid and scheduled and my work was kind of like my flexibility place. So it's interesting that we're the opposite in that, given that we're both psychologists, but our jobs are just so different. In what we do, I mean, you're much more of a clinical psychologist, you are a clinical psychologist, you're doing more of therapy, whereas I was doing more of educational plans and working with students with special needs. So definitely two different jobs, but just looking at how our routines were so different but still worked for each of us, you know, yes, that's the thing it works for each of us and our personalities.
Speaker 3:I think we're able to kind of gel within it, but it is. They are two very different worlds. Like, and that's what I think is cool about our podcast is that we're able to bring you know. Psychology is such a broad field and has so many different layers and components to it that you know I am not able to sit here and speak intelligently about the stuff that Jen does. There's no way, and vice versa.
Speaker 3:I mean there's no way. Yeah, so it's nice that that spectrum can be brought in and that even whenever each one of us are talking, I can hear the inner layers that kind of connect the two.
Speaker 2:um, but no no, no, you're like if it's not on the schedule, it's not happening. No, dr stevens absolutely, not absolutely.
Speaker 3:And the this is where I do lose my shit. If my schedule and everybody knows it and we just have to just say yes, sometimes you just have to say yes. Whenever you lose something, you just have to be like yes If my schedule for some reason gets disrupted, oh no, no, no, no, that is that'll set you off those are not good times.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we have to really rip, but again, so much of that is just driven by the world in which you live in and what you work in. I think whenever we get home we have flexibility time but a general time goal that we're trying to maintain with it. You know, again, you can't, it's probably not well advised to allow young children to stay up all hours of the night or to not have like a bedtime or some type of routine to go in, and so you know, we usually try to eat dinner between 5.30 and 6.30, again, an hour allowing flexibility considering the days times. What all may go in, you know, generally around eight o'clock um is bath time and hair dry time, because she's got some hair.
Speaker 2:This is the time to be like militant about a routine. When they're little, like set it now so that you don't have to think about it when they're four or five and six. My kids don't fight me on anything. Literally I say bath, they're gone, they're running to the bathtub. It's like their bodies know the routine so well Now. They don't fight me on anything. Literally I say bath, they're gone, they're running to the bathtub. It's like their bodies know the routine so well now they don't even have to think about it. They just go because they know what is to come. After that they have their bath and then they get their ice cream and then they have book time and then it's lights out and they listen to a podcast as they go to sleep Something we call stories, but it's little stories for tiny people.
Speaker 2:Great little podcast. If you have young kids, she comes up with the greatest little bedtime stories. I usually fall asleep no surprise, because I'm a sleeping champion, but yeah, my kids both fall asleep to that. But I mean, we are so routine about those things. They get up about the same time every morning. Sometimes my daughter sleeps in, but for the most part they're up at seven. We're just very routine driven animals. I mean, we are, we all are, and if you can just get yourself into, one.
Speaker 3:it can make life so much easier. It can, yeah. Everything about your body's physiological functioning really does improve whenever you have a good scheduled routine.
Speaker 1:From a medical standpoint.
Speaker 3:I mean it just doesn't run in chaos, like even from like an evolutionary standpoint, which I can go on like a big deep dive on talking about that whole kind of like from a health standpoint, all of that. But they are designed to be awake, they are designed to be asleep, they are designed to be active, they are designed to be fed, all at certain points of time and whenever that gets all messed up, everything is going to get all messed up from there. So really trying to get some type of effort going in this can just be so, so beneficial and being forgiving in the process of it all the time.
Speaker 2:Knowing that it's not going to be perfect when you first start Again. I like to go back and read my journal entries from five, six months ago, just because I think it's always good to see your growth, and I just started journaling again. It's not something I've been doing for very long, but I did a lot as a kid. I find that I'm going back Really. Yeah, oh, I love to read my journals from when I was like Jack's age. My son is about to be eight.
Speaker 2:You have them? Oh, I do, and I love to see what I would spend my time A writing about. But my thought process is that age I just I find it fascinating. And so, yeah, I just decided to start keeping a journal about a year ago and I love it. I love to go back and read and see where my head was at six months ago to see the progress that I've made made. I can sense my pride as I'm writing it months, just in the progress that I'm making or in things that I feel like I'm getting right or how new opportunities are opening up to me. I love to see that. And so, yeah, that's a big one for me lately to go back and read and just get that sense of accomplishment.
Speaker 2:Like, okay, I was a hot mess in August and September, like I didn't know what I was doing with my life. I felt worthless. I was like what is happening? How am I going to do this? And now I'm like you're doing it, you're actually doing it. You're putting into place the things that you said that you would. And I tell myself a lot of that when I get on my mat, when I meet myself or I work out. I'm like you're doing it, you're doing it. Or when I meditate a lot of times I would say that to myself in the beginning like you're doing it better, don't judge it, you're just doing it and by that you're being successful, I love that, and here we are.
Speaker 2:Here we are. I'm so proud of us. Episode 10 in the books yes, I mean, who would have thunk it right?
Speaker 3:I don't, you know, not to rat some people out in our lives or anything but, whenever we were, but I'm going to do it anyway Not that, that forgives it, but whatever Probably makes it worse. Actually, I remember when we first started talking about this podcast and some significant people in our lives were like, if you guys make it to 10, because they both know how we are, you know our lives are just whatever everything, and they're like we're just going to be super impressed. Well, guess what, boys, we did.
Speaker 2:We made it to 10. We got 10 in the books. We've got an awesome website up and running with some fantastic resources. So check us out on our webpage. Go to thelilaspodcastcom. You can click on contact us. Send us any feedback. We would love to hear from anybody that's listening, anybody that's stuck with us through all 10 episodes. Thank you, first and foremost and second of all, go to our webpage and just give us something, give us a thumbs up. I don't care what it is. I would love some feedback from some listeners on our webpage. And then, of course, you can catch us on social media, at the Lylas Podcast, on Instagram, facebook, twitter, tiktok.
Speaker 2:We're trying. Sarah and I are learning. We're definitely showing our age, but we are learning reels. We're learning TikToks. We're doing all the things. We've learned how to build a website essentially, or at least keep it up and running, keep it going and adding to it and keeping the format. It's been a lot. It's been a learning process, so I just I love it. I'm having so much fun and I hope that our listeners are too.
Speaker 3:Yes and yes, please, and thank you. We already have had some people submit some great ideas to us and, believe us, we're going to, we are getting to them, we are incorporating them in. We love the fact that you feel so comfortable sharing that with us, you know, because whatever you share in ideas, like sharing a piece of yourself almost with someone else, and so thank you to all of you who have there's. You know, some of them we're going to be talking about again are like transitions with our parents. You know, and I think both of our moms listen to our podcast, so sorry, ladies, or guess what's coming? Um, but you know how do we deal with those transitions, with them being at different stages and us being at different stages. And then you know having greater conversations about like okay, so what's the plan if x starts to? You know having greater conversations about like okay, so what's the plan if X starts to happen? You know like we need to establish and have these conversations now so that way we're not in those moments and then find ourselves there.
Speaker 3:Another great topic that was submitted was talking about what it's like to live long term with. You know, like long term depression or anxiety, like what is that actually like for somebody to be in that place, to be in those shoes and then to even treat it from a different standpoint, like how do you continue to work or to be within that zone? And so you know we're going to incorporate some guests, I think, in future episodes to help us out. You know our knowledge base is only so broad and you know we recognize and appreciate that and that there are others that we want to kind of incorporate into. And so we've got a lot of fun surprises coming up for our next 10 episodes. So big party whenever we hit 20.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So give us some feedback. Definitely, let us know what your thoughts are on some topics. We've got a lot more planned, but of course, we want to hear from you. So if there's something that you want to hear specific, if you have specific questions for me or for Sarah, or something you know topics again that you would like for us to specifically discuss, let us know. Hit us up on our website. Thanks for listening. Until next week.
Speaker 3:Oh, this needs to be a part of your schedule and routines. How about that? Just throw that at it at the end. Thank you,
